Nameless Flower
by Shizuka-Crazy
Summary: With her role model dead and her family slowly falling apart, Lily found that her best option was to trust... But how long will it take for her blind trust to take a toll on her. She wants the truth but maybe she should have left the truth become a simple dream as reality looks horrible as they get closer. (Previously named: Wings of Freedom)
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

 **Year 380:**

The smell of food was in every corner of the Little house in Shiganshina. A small wooden house, with just a kitchen, three rooms and a bathroom. That was all they could afford but it also was all they needed. They were happy. The old couple was proud of how they had raised their two girls: Jaquelin and Lily Dekker.

Of course they were not the perfect marriage, but they loved each other and they loved their daughters. Jaquelin, the oldest daughter, was brave and adventurous, even a little rebel during her first years of puberty. She nearly destroyed her parents when she decided she wanted to join the military at the age of twelve, that made her mother faint and her father stopped eating for almost three days. The worst came when she turned fifteen and told her parents about joining the Scouting Legion… Fortunately, everything turned out ok… Every time Jaquelin was out of the walls her mother prayed for her to come back in one piece and it always happened… Jaquelin was healthy and her wounds were never serious. She was a beautiful twenty-year old girl, with green eyes like her mother's and black hair.

The second daughter, Lily, was beginning to turn into a beautiful little girl. With just eleven years-old it was not difficult to see that she truly was adorable. She had beautiful black her and deep blue eyes. Her parents loved her as much as they loved her sister but, deep inside their minds, they were thankful for Lily's calm demeanor. They couldn't bear the idea of their youngest daughter as a soldier; besides, Jaquelin adored her little sister and she knew the dangers of going out of the walls, she did not want Lily in that kind of scenario.

That day, Evangeline Dekker was preparing dinner while looking absently through the window just as she did every time Jaquelin was out of the walls, praying for her daughter to come back to her. At the same time, she glanced over to her youngest child that was sewing a dress for her doll out of her old clothes while sitting on the table were her mother could keep an eye on her. Her husband was working, they had this little fruit stand in the market and he'd probably be home until dinner. Evangeline shook her head in order to concentrate in what she was doing… Of course she was worried about Jaquelin, but she had another daughter that needed her and couldn't be left without unfed. So, she forced herself to put her energies into the soup she was making.

The minutes went by and the only noises she was able to hear were the ones that she herself made while cooking and her daughter's that was probably inventing a new tune with her voice while she sewed. Suddenly, the sound of the bells reached the ears of both of them, making Lily sigh expectantly… That sound meant that Jaquelin would be visiting soon… They did not come to greet her like other soldier's families, they waited for her to come home because they knew that comforted her… To see her mother cooking and her little sister playing… That helped her recover and made her smile for a while, at least until she was forced back into the headquarters.

It was not until two hours later when the knock on the door they expected came, when the dinner was soon to be finished. Of course that wasn't strange, Jaquelin lost companions in every expeditions, she took her time to grieve by herself so her family wouldn't have to see her like that… Lily didn't even wait until her mom told her to open the door, she ran to it and didn't realize of her mother's intentions of stopping her… Evangeline couldn't even talk due to that strange oppression in her chest, she seemed to be frozen.

"Sist- Oh…" the little girl had shut herself up when she realize she did not know the person in front of her. She hid behind the door immediately letting just her head come into view "Who are you?" asked Lily shaking slightly.

"Is something wrong, honey?" asked Evangeline coming next to her daughter to see the person standing in the doorway "Squad Leader Shadis… Is everything okay?" deep inside of her she knew the answer to that question…

"As leader of the squad conformed by Natasha Hanscom, Nicholas Collins, Jaquelin Dekker, Julia Covey and Byron Martin; is my duty to inform you that the soldier Jaquelin Dekker was found dead yesterday's noon when she sacrificed herself to save Hanscom,s life… We couldn't retrieve her body…"

Time froze in Lily's mind… She couldn't process the information she received. The sound of a thud made her turn her head to the place her mother had been just three seconds ago to found her kneeling in the floor while an incessant shriek could be heard all over the little wooden house…

Lily didn't have a taste of food in all what was left of the day….


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

 **Year 840:**

She opened her deep blue eyes the moment the sun shone in her face. Her head felt as if she had been beaten several times in the exact same spot. She made an inhuman effort to get out of her bed and walk to the curtains to open them. The sunlight hit her face making her eyes ache even more… She turned slowly to face her bed and the other beside it, completely untouched… They had come back from an expedition three days ago and her roommate had died in it…

When she decided to avenge Jaquelin, the Scouting Legion seemed to be the only branch in the army truly willing to do something against the titans. The first time she left the walls she was mesmerized by the beauty the world outside held but soon she realized that beauty could also be a trap, luring soldiers into titan territory, causing hundreds of deaths… She had tried to change, to grow colder, tougher so she would not get close to anyone, so there was no need to feel the pain of losing someone else… She couldn't… Lily was Lily and not even herself could change that… Since she joined the Legion four years ago, the story was always the same… She met someone, became friends with that person and the person dies or ends up retiring just some days later. She cried for them the first days, then she tried to continue ahead keeping their memories with her but as time passed it was harder to remember every soldier who died outside the walls.

Of course, she had known interesting people… Hange Zoe, as an example… She was a little bit older that her, five years older if she had to take a guess. Hange was really an odd woman but she was really smart and strong, that made Lily want to be friends with her, she knew that Hanji would have less chances of dying than other soldiers. Also, there was Erwin Smith who was, without doubt, one of the best soldiers Lily had met since she joined. He was eight years older than her but she had to admit that, even when he was just a few years away from his thirty's, he was really good-looking. It was inevitable for her to fell sort of attracted to him when she joined but none of them was there to live their love story so they kept feelings apart.

Her life wasn't that bad… She was still alive and she was grateful for that. She went to visit her parents as soon as she had time and they were always happy to see her alive… Since Jaquelin died the situation hadn't been good for the family. A part of their happiness seemed to have died with Jaquelin. The parents didn't seem to realize that the death of the older sister also affected the younger one… Her dad, especially had become quite a loner, he kept a lot of things to himself after his daughter died and this included even leaving Lily alone until she turned twelve and decided to enlist… Her parents didn't realized Lily was also suffering until she told them she was going to become a soldier. When she told them she was going to join the Scouting Legion they both went to the floor crying. They just didn't want her to die…

She realized she was taking too long in her thoughts and that she was going to lose breakfast. She went to get her breakfast and sit beside Hanji who didn't question her "I spent the whole night crying" look. The brunette tried to have a normal conversation with her friend but she knew that Lily would need some days to put herself back together.

"Oh, look who decided to show up" said Hange while Erwin and Mike sat in front of them.

"Good morning" said Erwin receiving a simple nod from Lily.

They ate their breakfast in silence except for some little conversations, always initiated by Hange. Lily forced herself to hear and try to participate but she just couldn't.

"Eh, where are you going" asked Hange when Lily began to stand up.

"Sorry, I just need some fresh air. I'll just go for a walk before training, see you on the grounds." answered de blue-eyed girl while walking through the door.

"She looks really bad…" said Mike when she was out of the room.

"Well, her roommate just died, we need to give her time." said Hange looking troubled, "She'll be fine in a few days but… I think her kindness is going to be de death of her."

"To be honest I thought she wouldn't survive her first expedition. She looked so fragile that I thought she'd be an easy target…" Confessed Erwin.

"She has been in the legion three years now…" said the brunette whispering. "Not many people survive their first expedition and many of those to do decide to leave the Military in the following year. I think she has made it far due to really hard work but she is way to emotional, that could really get her killed."

Three years was a great number, especially for someone like Lily but it was nothing compared to her eight years in the Legion… Hell, it wasn't even a third part of Erwin's eleven years!

"I'm sure she'll be able to overcome that barrier sooner than we think… Although, I'm still trying to figure out whether that's a good thing or a bad thing." Added Mike making his two companions look down to their bowls with gloomy expressions in their faces.

When something bad happens the first time, like when someone dies, you don't expect it… You feel bad, you cry, you scream because you probably hadn't thought about something like that happening to you. The next times, you still feel bad but you won't be that affected by it… It may be rude but, little by little, you will get used to see people dying… It was happening to Lily but her process was so slow she didn't notice, but they did. Sooner or later, she would accept death as something that was always in her back, she would see death as something normal. She would leave a part of her humanity along the way… She would become a monster just as they had…

"There's nothing we can do about it." said Erwin "She needs to go through this if she wants to succeed. There's no way around it and we all know that we really can't help her through this ordeal. We all have goals, as does Lily. We can't achieve anything without any sacrifice."

"Erwin" called a voice from the entrance of the room " I need you in my office right now, I want to have a word with you"

* * *

"Mike, let's swap, you go with Hange now" said Erwin as they trained earning a silent nod from Mike who moved over to where Hange was standing. The blond assumed a defensive posture waiting for Lily to attack him.

"So, how was your chat with Shadis?" asked Lily throwing a kick to his side. He moved quickly grabbing her ankle.

"Talking while sparring? Are you sure that's wise?" Asked Erwin in a slightly amused tone while turning her ankle, making her whole body turn. "I take it Hange told you… Well it went well, I was hoping to talk to you about it but this is not what I had in mind."

"Well, I'm sure you'll adapt." She said quickly pulling her ankle out of his grasp and directing another kick to his face. He managed to block it but having learned her lesson, Lily moved away from him before he could trap her again.

"I'm sure you know about Commander Ross' plans to retire soon. Due to them, Squad Leader Shadis is going to be assuming the role." He came closer while he said this Lily could see he was trying to surprise her, she would not let her guard down… "Well, you know how this works, he's chosen to have someone else be a Squad Leader. He chose me." Lily opened her eyes immeasurably surprise visible all over her face. Suddenly she felt something hit her fit and soon she was staring directly at the sky while falling backwards on the ground. "Not a very impressive defense to show your future Squad Leader." He mocked extending his hand for her to take.

"So… You really do want me in your Squad?" said the girl taking his hand and getting up the ground as quickly as she could. "I really don't want to be a liability, there much more skilled soldiers."

"Lily, I've seen what you can do. I'm sure you'll do a great job. But let me warn you, I'm not going to go easy on you."

"Wouldn't have it any other way, Squad Leader." She smiled at him, saluting him before running to change partners with Mike.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Year 841:**

Time passed slowly, barely a year had passed since Erwin became her Squad Leader. Lily had always known of his capacities, but she never imagined how a great strategist he was… The number of times she and the whole squad had survived thanks to his methods was unbelievable. Little by little, Erwin became the person Lily trusted the most. That's why she walked to his office feeling relaxed, a meeting with him was not something she was worried about specially because she was basically unable to defy him. But when she opened the door, Erwin was not the only one there, Commander Shadis stood before the desk almost penetrating her with his eyes.

Lily saluted and simply waited for her superiors to talk…

"You wanted to see me, Squad Leader?" she asked, her eyes drifting to the piece of paper her commander held in his hands. The man noticed and decided to move straight to the point, handing her the letter.

"The military police sent this, they are asking for you, they want you to transfer… Look, Dekker, I don't care about whatever problems you may have outside of the military but if you have something to sort out with the Military Police then you should tell us know."

"Sir, with all due respect, I really don't know what you are talking about… I've never contacted with anyone from the military police I don't know why they'd want me there. I didn't even make it to the top ten of my promotion…" Lily said looking up from the letter, her blue eyes filled with confusion.

"Well, if that's the case then the decision is up to you… If you want be transferred to the Military Police, that can surely be arranged they seem thrilled to have you there." As he said this, Shadis kept his gaze on her, as if he was trying to look into her soul.

"Sir, I joined the Scouting Legion for personal reasons, I already decided that, if I'm going to die, I'd rather die out there than trapped in these walls. My thoughts have not changed, not a bit. And, to make it clear I'd gladly write my answer to them." The confusion in her eyes was still there but now it was colliding with her determination.

"Thank you, Dekker. You can leave now, just please have the letter ready for tomorrow's morning. Thar will be all." She saluted one last time and made her way back to her quarters.

"Sir… There's no way this can be coincidence." Spoke Erwin once he was sure his subordinate was out of earshot. "Lily is a capable soldier, enough to come back alive from the expeditions, but she is nothing our of the ordinary. The fact that it's not the first time the Military Police seeks a member of the Dekker family… It can't be an accident."

"Yes, we both agree on that, still she seems to know nothing about it. Anyway, she could be lying… Erwin, I want you to keep a close eye on her. She trusts you so it should be an easy task." Ordered Shadis. Erwin simply nodded while taking another close read to the letter Lily had left on the desk.

 **Two weeks later:**

Cold air brushed past his skin as he finished cleaning his stand. It was already dark and Aaron Dekker was just closing the business. His was would surely be worried, she never stopped worrying after Jaquelin died. His poor child, he could never forgive himself… Maybe if they hadn't fought before her last expedition, she might've been able to concentrate and made it back alive with her family. Lily would have grown normally, found a husband and settle down… Instead of that he had to endure as her youngest daughter sought vengeance, vengeance against ruthless creatures…

He sighed as he made his way home through the lonely streets… He had never liked this part of Shiganshina but it was the only place they could afford to move into after Jaqueline died. It was difficult for all of them to abandon their old house but they just couldn't stay there, it was just too risky… His wife and daughter nave forgave him for that, they did not understand, he did it for them, for their safety.

As he walked a noise came to his ears… He began walking a little bit faster but tried to convince himself it was just his imagination. Another sound, this time closer. This time he knew he was not mistaken, this was no product of his mind. He was not that far away from his home but he didn't know who was making those noises, going home could put not only his life in danger but also Evangeline's…

He was almost running now, fear creeping into his mind. He thought about making noise, get loud, try to get someone to listen to him, to get someone's attention. He tried but no sound came out of his mouth, the noises seemed to die in his throat as his breathing got more and more labored. He was not as young as he used to be.

He began to run, choosing to take a detour instead of going home. He could never risk his wife's live and under no circumstance was he going to risk someone finding his family's heirlooms… No, he had already made that mistake once and he regretted it every day of his life.

He came to an abrupt stop as he saw a man directly in front of him, he could not see his face but his posture was threatening. He breathed deeply and prepared to scream for his life, but a hand pressed itself on his mouth muffling every noise he tried to make. He could feel something sharp against his throat and something he assumed was blood was now running over his skin.

"Hello there, Aaron…" Said the man in front of him. "I think you owe us some answers…" Everything turned black.

 **The next morning:**

Lily was getting ready for breakfast, she was just finishing buttoning her white shirt when someone knocked on her door. There was a weird feeling on her stomach as the visitor knocked a second time.

She slowly walked to her door and took a deep breath before opening it. Her eyes were immediately met by her Commander's gloomy eyes. The girl felt as she couldn't breath, she couldn't move. The only time Shadis had directed that look to her was eleven years ago, when they were told Jaquelin died…

Her eyes drifted to the spot behind the Commander where a member of the Garrison stood, his eyes filled with pity as he stared at her.

"C-commander Shadis… Is there a problem?" It seemed to take all of her strength to form that simple sentence. She saw Shadis take a deep breath and turn to look at the other solider.

"Eer, you are Aaron Dekker's daughter, is that correct?" Lily could not even be irritated by his obvious question, she simply nodded while she tried not to let fear overcome her but she certainly felt like she was about to faint. "We… We found your dad's body earlier this morning. He seemed to have taken a stroll late in the night and apparently there was an accident… I'm sorry." Suddenly, everything became fuzzy, she felt numb and her body felt unnaturally heavy,

"My… My mother, is she okay?" She managed to ask. The soldier was clearly confused by her reaction.

"Y-yes! She was not with him during the accident, the neighbors said they never saw her get out of the house-" The soldier stopped the moment he felt Shadis hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you for bringing the news, son… You can leave now." The solider saluted and left as fast as he could leaving the Commander alone with his subordinate. "Let me offer you my condolences, I'm deeply sorry for your loss…" He looked down and Lily as she began shivering.

"I don't understand… How did it happen? What kind of accident was it?" She asked hugging herself as her eyes filled with tears. "They were not living a problematic zone or…" She couldn't talk anymore.

"Dekker, I'm clearly not the one you should have this conversation with… Take a week off duty, go to your mother and bury your father. Be sure to get plenty of rest this following week and get ready to be back soon." He out his hand in Lily's shoulder. "Gather your things, you should leave as soon as possible." His subordinate nodded and walked to the wardrobe, pulling out a brown suitcase. The Commander took this a sign to leave the room.

He walked to his office when he heard footsteps getting closer to him.

"Commander Shadis!" said Erwin as he got to his side. "Sir, I received information about cadet Dekker's father…" Shadis new exactly where this conversation was going.

"Yes, and so has she… She's preparing to leave as we speak, she has the week off. I'm sure you'll have no objection to that, Erwin." He kept walking without looking at the Squad Leader.

"No, of course not, she should be with her mother and be aloud to mourn over her father, sir. But I can't help but wonder, why was I not informed of this before? She's a member of my squad after all, I should have been the one to tell her." Erwin was firm when he spoke, his voice was cool but Shadis could tell there was a hint of anger in there.

"I guess you are right and I apologized… But in the end, I think it was for the best. She'd certainly be angry and frustrated if I had gone to tell you before telling her." He stopped before the door of his office and turned to look at Erwin. "Well, what's done it's done. You should make sure to tell the rest of your squad and offer her your condolences before she leaves." He finished talking and opened the door, soon disappearing behind him.

"So… You don't think it was an accident, right?" Asked Hange for the third time after he explained his theory.

"Hange, I shouldn't be telling you this but I'm only doing it because I feel like you are smart enough to decipher this… Lily and her older were both at some point requested by the Military Police, in both cases these requests were unsuccessful and now, Aaron Dekker dies in a mysterious accident that no one realized was happening…" Erwin sat with his head in his hands as Hange passed in front the his desk.

"You think the Military Police is involved…" It wasn't a question. He looked up and Hange had stopped pacing and was staring at him.

"I can't be sure of that but I really don't this is all a coincidence… We told Lily about the proposition made the MP and asked her if she knew any reason for them to be targeting her… She seemed to know nothing but it really seems that she was not the only target… Her whole family appears to have problems with them." He explained.

"Well, that's assuming that they really had something to do wit-" They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in." Said Erwin as Hange sat on the chair in front of the desk, sighing. The door opened and Lily came into de room, already out of her uniform with a case on her hands which she left aside to salute him.

"Squad Leader, I'm about to head out, I'm deeply sorry for leaving on such a short notice." She seemed quite composed but her eyes were irritated and there were trails of tears on her cheeks.

"Don't worry about that. Also, I'm deeply sorry for your loss, please be sure to offer my condolences to your mother." Erwin stood up and moved closer to her to put a hand on her shoulder.

"I will, thank you for understanding." She gave a weak smile. "Hange, I-" Before she could finish, the brunette had already moved towards her and gave her an almost bone-crushing hug.

"You'll be back in one piece, won't you, Lils." She said using the silly nickname she had given her, clearly trying to cheer her up.

"I'll surely try…" She separated from her companion. "I'll see you in week…" With that she left the headquarters feeling like a living dead with every step she took.

 **That afternoon:**

Her mind was a mess at the moment… She was and in shock and she somehow knew she was in shock and also knew that this would not allow her to mourn properly… She was scared, she was confused, she was angry. She felt so many emotions that she thought she'd throw up as she got nearer to her parent's house. The people around her whispered, of course they knew who she was. After all, Lily was always told she looked a lot like her father…

Every step she took felt heavier, she was dreading the mere thought of meeting her mother. When Jaquelin died, she had fallen into a deep depression but at list Lily and Aaron had been by her side… Now, Aaron was dead and Lily had duties that kept her away from home. That's why she hated the mere thought of talking with her mother, she knew what that conversation would end like. Still, she never stopped walking, she kept going appearing as mindless as a titan after a prey, her mind elsewhere as she found herself in front of the door.

"Oh, my dear!" Her mother screamed when she saw her and ran to her trapping her in a hug. Lily returned the hug and finally felt human again as tears streamed down her face and weaving sounds came out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry…" Evangeline kept saying this as a mantra while they cried.

They had left the door opened, many passing people stopped on their tracks and stared at them but none of them realized as they cried their hearts out.


	4. Chapter 3

Okay, so before you start reading I wanted to answer some questions okay. Someone asked, how long does it take for Levi to join? Well, according to the time line I'm using to help he write this story, Levi joined somewhere in between 940 and 945. That means, he is coming soon.

I would also like to give a short warning there are some insinuations at the end of the chapter, is not lemon or smut, I promise that will come later xD.

Well, that was all, enjoy the chapter.

 **Chapter 3**

The sun shone in Lily's face making her feel unbearably hot as she stood beside her mother watching as her father was buried. The laughter of children could be heard not very far away from where they were, it was something to expect to the beautiful day but with every laugh she felt her heart aching in her chest. Evangeline offered an apologetic smile when she looked at her. Why were they the only ones feeling miserable?

She looked to the spot beside her father's newly buried grave, to Jaquelin's grave. She felt anger built up inside her. At least they were able to truly bury Aaron… The grave beside his, was empty. Well, of course it was, there was no possible way to retrieve Jaquelin's body.

When her sister's funeral had taken place, she had been very little and very confused as to why her sister had not been in the wooden coffin when it was buried… Now she knew for a fact that most the time, the Scouting Legion could not afford to bring back the bodies of every soldier who died outside the walls. She herself had been forced to leave someone's body behind more than once. As a result, she imagined, many families had to set with and empty grave and her mother would probably have to set for that twice…

She took her mother's hand as they walked to the house, none of them dared to say anything. Lily had managed to keep herself composed but her mother's face was stained with tears as she couldn't stop her crying.

Her mother began to cook the stew that would serve them as lunch and dinner while Lily sat at the table with papers all around her. Now was not time to sulk, her mother needed her. With her father's death came another bunch of problems they had to deal with as soon as possible. She had a week to sort out as much as she could.

Suddenly a plate of stew was set in front on her as her mother picked all the papers and set them somewhere else while they ate. They were silent for a few minutes until Lily decided there was no point in denying anything.

"Mom… I've been going through some numbers and, I don't know if we'd be able to keep paying for everything…" She looked up at her mother who didn't seem surprised at all.

"Well, I had already pictured something like that would happen… It's okay, darling, I'm sure we'll manage." Her green eyes were still filled with sadness as she spoke but they were both trying to be strong at the moment. "Before I met you dad, I used to work for a seamstress, I learned a lot for her and I'm sure I can still work; after all, all of yours and Jaquelin's clothes were handmade… I'm a bit rusty but I can pull it off. Oh an you too of course, I can teach you!"

"Teach me? Mom, what are you talking about?" Lily's eyes filled with confusion as a deep worry haunted her mind.

"Well, your father and I had been talking about it for a while… You've come a long way but both me and your father thought it would be better if you came back home…" Lily let the spoon in the plate and rubbed her temples feeling a huge headache coming. "I know it wasn't your plan but… Well I want you to be here, safe, and I'm sure that's what your father wanted…"

"Mom, I'm not planning to quit, how would we pay for everything if I did? Besides, it is not that easy I made a compromise when I enlisted and I need to fulfill a certain amount of years in service, you know that." She explained trying to keep calm.

"Well you don't have to "quit", you can always transfer to the Garrison that way we can be closer, and you'd still be fulfilling your service." She knew her mother was also losing her patience.

"The Garrison has too many soldiers already, many of them even spend their days drinking because they have no job to do… The Scouting Legion, on the other hand, is always in desperate need of soldiers and even if I'm not best among them, that's were I want to be." She tried to grab her mother's hand across the table but Evangeline immediately moved it away.

"They are always in desperate need of soldiers because they can't keep anyone of them alive! And yet they have achieved nothing! Excuse if I'm wrong but I haven't heard any news of conquered territory outside the walls, none new information about those monsters, nothing!" Her mom was now screaming at her. Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to keep her anger from rising.

"Look, mom, I know how you feel and I've also felt frustrated because of the lack of improvement… But there's people there that I believe can actually achieve something. They just need to be given a chance. I know you don't see it now, but we are moving forward." She saw her mom was about to interrupt her but she kept talking anyway. "Mom, what's outside the walls, it's so beautiful there's nothing like it inside, the air is just so pure… I'm sure that's why Jaquelin wanted, I think she wanted us all to be able to see that…"

"Jaquelin is dead!" She hit the table with her hands. "And you can't tell for sure that's what she wanted but I can, she didn't want her little sister to die the way she did. She didn't want you to kill yourself!" At this point, Lily couldn't contain her anger anymore.

"What are you talking about?" she stood up, screaming back at her mother.

"Well, someone who'd willingly put themselves out there is asking to die!"

"We fight because we are tired of living like cattle inside these stupid walls. Those monsters have taken things from us we never realized we had. We've lived trapped in here for one hundred years… I don't want that anymore…" With that, she stood up without giving her mom time to retaliate.

The next two days they barely spoke, keeping their distance from each other. During the night, Lily heard her mother crying herself to sleep and a pang of guilt settled in her heart to stay.

Finally, the third day, they spoke again. Lily made it very clear she had no intention of leaving the Scouting Legion. Her mother didn't protest this time, instead she gave a large sigh and nodded her head slowly.

"I don't understand your motivation, Lily, and I don't thing I'll ever will… But if you really need to carry on with that, I won't get in your way…"

The next few days they concentrated on their financial situation. Aaron had left some savings that would help them for a year if they distributed them well. They had decided that Evangeline would try and look for a job again and if that didn't work they thought it'd be a good idea to make arrangements to move to an smaller place, sell some furniture, etc.

In the end everything went as smoothly as it could. Yes, their last fight had been hard to overcome but it was not like Lily had no expected something like that to happen. Now was her last day off and she was packing her things as she enjoyed the delicious smell that came from the kitchen.

"What's that you are making? It smells amazing!" She said trying to sneak behind her mother and have a look at the food.

"Oh, forget about it, you silly girl!" answered her mom. "Go and finish packing your things, I'll let you know when the food is ready." Lily went back to the room with a small smile on her face… She had been very doubtful about leaving her mom all by herself but now, she was sure she could manage.

At least they were able to spend their last afternoon together and make it enjoyable… Of course the Aaron's death stilled weighted heavily on their hearts but they needed to keep going… They were there, Jaquelin and Aaron were not. They seemed to have come to terms with reality and that made everything easier. Sadly, they soon had so say goodbye to each other.

Lily stood in the door with the suitcase in her hands waiting for her mother.

"Here… It is getting cold…" said Evangeline grapping a scarf around her daughter's neck. "And I made you these…" She gave her a box of sweets. "Be sure to share with your lovely roommate, would you?" Lily laughed at this, her mother had never met Nanaba in person, only knew because of her letters and still she thought she was remarkable just for being able to keep her company. "Please, promise me you'll come back…" Her eyes filled with tears and was soon enveloped in an embrace.

"You know I can't promise you that… I will do everything in power to come back to you, that is something I can promise…" She smiled kissing her mother's head, already covered in white hairs.

"Oh, Lily!" Called her mom as she was about to head out. "Your father… He wanted you to have this…" She handed her a small chest. "He had wanted to give it to you for so long… I think you should have it now." Lily eyed the chest with curiosity.

"Mom, this is locked… Didn't he show you the key?"

"He… He said you already had it." Lily shook her head. "Oh Aaron, even in death you are still infuriating!" Mocked Evangeline with a sad laugh. "That's fine darling, I'm sure once you are back you'll be able to find someone that'd help you." They hugged one last time and Lily went down her path as her mother failed miserable at containing the tears.

 **That night:**

Lily finally arrived at the headquarters feeling exhausted despite her week off. She walked to her bedroom feeling her feet heavy and sighing with almost every step she took. She opened the wooden door and was unsurprised to find her roommate reading.

"Lily… Hi, I heard about your father. I'm really sorry…" Nanaba came up to her holding her by the shoulders. "How did it go?"

"You know how funerals are, Nanaba… Everything was so… I just felt so… Miserable." She sat in her bed sighing. "My mom and I fought, she wants me to quit or at least to transfer to the Garrison…"

"Uff… Did you tell her about the Military Police?" asked Nanaba sitting in her own bed, facing her.

"No! Of course not! That would have been digging my own grave!" Lily stood up and turned to her suitcase ready to unpack. "Oh, I almost forgot!" she whispered pulling the box of sweets. "Here you go, my mother sent this." She gave Nanaba the box which the blonde opened excitedly, her eyes glinting with excitement as she saw the delicious treats. "Hey, don't get to exited, those are mine too!" Warned Lily moving the wardrobe to put her clothes away and then going to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Nanaba, her voice muffled by the food in her mouth.

"I have to report to our dear Squad Leader that I already arrived…" She said holding the door open as Nanaba stuffed another treat in her mouth. "Hey, I counted them, I'll know if eat more than the half!" With that she walked out of the room and headed to Erwin's office.

She exited the dormitories and made her way to the main part of the building. It was already pretty late but she knew Erwin was a bit of a workaholic, he'd be there for sure. Soon, she found herself in front of his door and knocked, immediately, Erwin's answer came, telling her to come in.

"Squad Leader…" She saluted him. "I just came to report to you, I'm ready to resume my duties tomorrow."

"Well I'm pleased to see that." Answered Erwin with a gentle smile. "Is everything okay?" He asked motioning for her to sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk. She sighed as she sat and put her head on her hands.

"As okay as it can be… I guess I jut, sort of came to terms with this kind of things. My father is dead, there was nothing I could do about, I have to move on…" She answered. "I was really worried about my mother, we had a huge fight the day of the funeral… She wanted to me to stay." As she explained this, Erwin looked at her apologetically. "I can't blame her, she never really understood why I did this…"

"There's many people out there who won't understand what we are doing… But I personally think we should keep fighting. It would be much easier to leave, settle down and have a normal life but I jus can't avoid thinking that this should not be normal. Living trapped inside a wall should not be common." He said lowering his gaze back to his desk were plans for a new formation sat.

"Erwin… It's getting late… Don't you think it would be better to get some rest?" She asked.

"Thank you for your concern, Lily, but I assure you I'm not quite tired yet." He smiled at her ready to continue with his job as a soft hand grabbed his wrist.

"Maybe but I think It'd do you some good to get away from work for a while… Since you became squad leader, you've worked too much, it can't be healthy for you, you need to relax and vent from time to time…" Erwin was about to protest when Lily spoke once again. "Plus… I also need to relax, I really want to get my mind off somethings and I would could use some company to do it." Her eyes pleaded him to say yes.

"Fine… Just for this time and make sure this doesn't become habitual… The dining room should be empty by now, you should go get Hange and Nanaba. I'll meet you there in ten minutes." He stood up and opened the door for her. Lily could not believe it, she was not sure that it would work… Well, she wasn't complaining either…

* * *

Hange sat with Lily on one of the tables as they drank the wine Erwin had brought, the brunette was currently explaining one of her many plans to capture a titan which would probably never be approved. Lily was beginning to feel sleepy, thanks to the alcohol. Her eyes caught some kind of movement to her right and she immediately turned to see what it was. She could only see Erwin talking to Mike some meters away from her.

"Hey, Lils, you listening?" Hange called her attention, her cheeks were red thanks to the wine and she was having some trouble with her words. "You know, I could keep quiet so you can keep on drooling over our Squad Leader…"

"Who's drooling over who?" asked Nanaba who had just arrived from the restroom.

"Well, our little Lily here just can't stop staring at our dear Squad Leader…" Hange explained making Lily roll her eyes. "It seems to me like we have some kind of crush going on here…" Nanaba laughed way loudly than normal.

"It is nothing like that, Hange, I promise…" Lily said her thoughts drifting immediately somewhere else. Yep, it was nothing like _that_ but she certainly wouldn't mind… I hit on her shoulder made her return to reality and she realized she was staring again. This time, both her friends exploded with laughter making Lily blush even more. "Hey it's not fair! I'm not saying anything about Mike or Commander Shadis…" This time she received a push from Hange that made her drop her wine into her shirt.

"Ups, sorry Lils… Although it was kind of your own fault for mentioning…" Lily shut Hange up.

"It's not like I started it!" she said laughing as she stood up. "I better and try to wash this up. Be right back!"

She tried to get to the closest restroom think maybe she wouldn't be right back after all… She could barely walk! She got to the bathroom and wet a tissue with water beginning to rub the stain. How stupid could she be? She thought. It was wine! It would not come out easily. Lily gave a sigh as she exited the bathroom immediately hitting a wall she could not remember was there, a quite comfortable wall.

"Are you okay?" Since when did the walls talk… Her eyes drifted upwards to see it was Erwin she had hit.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't see you there…" She tried to out some distance between the two of them but instantly lost her balance leaving Erwin to catch her once again before she hit the floor. "Thanks… Err, I think I'm going to head to my room now… Maybe it was too much distraction for me…" She tried to leave but was once again stopped, this time, Erwin had grabbed her wrists.

"I'll go with you. In your current state, you can easily fall and sustain an unnecessary injury… As your Squad Leader, I wouldn't be too pleased if you got hurt just after a week off." Lily was about to protest but Erwin was already guiding her through the corridors.

"Wait, Erwin, stop!" said Lily filling the world around her was spinning. "I'm sorry… I'm dizzy, could we just stop for a minute?" She asked leaning on one of the walls. "Gosh! I'm really not used to drink that much."

"Well it has been barely a year since you became legally an adult. Besides, Hange was not precisely trying to control you; in fact, she was doing otherwise…" Lily only had energy to give him a question look. "She kept filling your drink while you were distracted."

"Aargh! I swear that if I'm hangover tomorrow, I'm going to kill her!" Erwin chuckled at her comment. Making her turn to look at him with a level of concentration she never knew she was capable off while drunk.

"Common, we are not that far." Said Erwin trying to drag Lily with him.

"Wait! I… Is just I really don't want to be alone." She explained lowering her gaze to her shoes.

"I'm sure Nanaba will join you shortly, but right now you need to get in bed."

"Mike is there too, we both know she's not going to join me tonight…" Her crossed over her chest. "Please…" she practically begged moving dangerously close to him.

"Lily, you don't know what you are doing… You really need to get some rest." He tried to put some distance between them but failed miserably as she followed him swiftly. He had always thought Lily was a beautiful woman but he never voiced said thoughts. As she got closer and closer he noticed her appearance was not the only thing he felt drawn to, her fragrance, it was fresh and a little bit fruity. Clearly, the alcohol in his system was not making things easier for him. He managed to collect himself before giving into temptation. "Okay, seriously, Lily. You are drunk."

"I don't think I'm that drunk, sir… Besides, I think I'm old enough to decide what do I want, don't you think?" Erwin suddenly felt her grab his shirt and pull him down. Seconds later their lips had locked together and that was all he needed to let go.

He grabbed her waist and the hand that had pulled his shirt was now on his shoulder. They were both trying to get closer to the other.

Lily was about to attribute the feeling of being carried away to the alcohol but as she found herself in a room that wasn't hers, she realized it was Erwin who had carried her all the way to his room.

As her back hit the bed, she thought that she could be making a mistake… Such thoughts could never be voiced because, two seconds later. Erwin's trail of kisses on her neck robbed her completely of her sanity.


	5. Chapter 4

Well, first of all, hello guys. How are you doing? I've been a little busy so writing is taking me longer than I thought it would but I'm doing everything I can to bring this chapter as soon as I can. As always, constructive criticism and advise is always welcome. I hope you guys enjoy it!

 **Chapter 4**

 **Year 843:**

Lily sat in front of the mirror as she pulled her hair in a pony tail, it had grown longer during this last two years, but she didn't want to cut it, she was kind of attached to it. A knock on the door distracted her and she quickly moved towards it to open it.

"Erwin… Is there something wrong?" She asked at the sight of her Squad Leader, glancing behind him, she noticed Mike standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Nothing to worry about, except, I want you and Hange to be in charge of this week's training while Mike and I go to run some errands. Of course, I'll expect a detailed inform on the results." Lily could feel the curious look of both of her roommates in her back.

"Sure… Any requests?" she continued trying to ignore the other two people in the room.

"I was thinking hand to hand combat needs to be reviewed once again, if after that you still have time to do some exercises with the gear, please do so." His eyes darted up finally noticing the other two women. "Can you step out for a second?" He whispered. Lily simply nodded and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her with a relieved sigh.

"So, what kind of errands?" She asked. After years of working together, she knew Erwin could be reckless when he was set on an idea.

"Mitras… We are going to present the new formation to Supreme Commander Zackly." He answered.

"Well, that's good… I wish you luck, Squad Leader. Are there any other orders you have for me?" She asked with a small smile. Erwin had been working on that formation for months and when Commander Shadis gave his approval, it was easy to see all those hours of work had paid off.

"No, that would be all for now. Also, don't let Hange get too carried away, you know how difficult she is when she gets excited." He padded Lily on the shoulder and gave his goodbyes, Mike following closely behind him.

Lily gave a sigh and entered the room once again only to find Nanaba, Nifa and Hange watching the door like hawks.

"Wait… How did you even get in here?" She gestured to Hange who simply pointed to the open window. "Are you serious?"

"Well, Erwin went to talk to me and then he said he'd come to talk to you and I really wanted to hear… So I went out and hid under the window but then he asked you to step out so I let myself in!" She explained as if it was nothing.

"Hange… I told you to give it up, it's nothing like that! Seriously!" She said exasperated. "You should go have breakfast, we'll meet in the training fields in an hour." She said getting out of the room already in a bad mood… She considered Hange a friend but, sometimes, she simply decided to ignore crucial points of certain situations… Like hers! Lily had told her to forget about it countless times and still, two years later, she kept pushing it…

 **Flash Back:**

" _Hange… Can we talk for a second? I think I need your help." She asked to the brunette who was writing notes on one of her many notebooks._

" _Sure… What do you need?" She turned around to face her, her eyes immediately getting bigger at the sight of something. "Lily… Is that a hickey?" She asked pointing to Lily's neck. Damn it! She thought she had covered well with her hair. Well there was no point in hiding it now, was it?_

" _Yes… That's why I need to talk to you. I could really use some advice…" She waited for Hange to answer but this never came so she kept on talking. "Okay… So, I might have had sex with a guy and now I really don't know what to do about it…"_

" _Okay, I'm going to need more than that if you want my help and… What do you mean you "might have"? Did you or did you not have sex with that guy?" She asked watching Lily flinch as her voice got louder._

" _Fine, can you just keep it quiet? Please!" she begged, Hange simply nodded and motioned for her to continue. "Okay, yesterday I got really drunk. I tried to get to room and then this guy appeared and, well I don't really remember lots of it but the next thing I can recall is he dropping me on his bed."_

" _First of all… Do you really think you had sex? I mean, it's not uncommon to get into someone else's bed while drunk but still don't "do it"." Hange asked triend to keep calm before the revelations Lily was making to her._

" _Yes, I'm pretty sure we did. I woke up naked and I'm still… sore…" She said directing her eyes elsewhere._

" _Well, that being said let's move on to the guy…" She saw her companion tense at the words. "Do you remember who it was?" Lily tensed even more but nodded her head, Hange thought she'd leave that for later. "Did you two talk about it?"_

" _Yes… A little bit but, we actually agreed that. It shouldn't really have happened, that it was a bit hasty and that it would be better for the both of us to keep things as they were before." She said this while crossing her arms over her chest, almost like hugging herself._

" _Do you… Are you interested in pursuing something else with this guy? A relationship of sorts?" She asked watching Lily drop her arms and give a lar sigh._

" _I don't know! He is a great guy but we already agreed on something… I just can't go to him and say I changed my mind. Besides, before all of this happened I had already decided that I didn't want to involve myself with someone else, I don't want any distractions and I'm sure he doesn't either." She said being as honest as she could, still trying to reveal nothing about the guy._

" _I'm sure you've been dreading this question this whole time but I need to know, and I think you need to say it out loud… Who are we talking about?" Her eyes were cold as ice, she had seen Hange with that look in her eyes just a few times. It was scary, it was the look she had when she meant all business. That really made her nervous, but she also knew her friend was right so the only thing she could do, was take a deep breath._

" _Erwin… I slept with Erwin last night…" She finished without daring to look at her friend who had gone speechless with the last sentence. After almost five minutes of silence, the situation had become too much for Lily to handle. "Hange… Can you please say something?" she asked almost pleadingly._

" _Sorry, it's just… Erwin?" Lily nodded while Hange began pacing in front of her. "I can't believe it! I mean, Nanaba and I teased you about it, but I never thought you'd actually go for it!" Hange kept pacing while muttering under her breath what seemed to be a summarized version of the conversation they just had. "So, you both agreed that it shouldn't have happened and that things should stay the same… Do you realize how hard that could be? Well, I don't know for him but for you… Lily, you slept with your superior…"_

" _I know but it's not like I want to get something else from that! I'll be more than happy to make as if nothing happened between us but I'm really confused… I mean, it was my first time after all…"_

" _What?" Asked Hange. "It was your first time… Did Erwin know about that?"_

" _I'm not sure… We were both drunk, so I don't know if he noticed. Besides, he did not mention it this morning." She shrugged. "Look, I'm not too worried about that part. It's just… I kind of wanted my first time to be special… I don't blame him for any of what happened but I just feel so stupid…"_

" _Look, Lily, you're not the first person to go through something like this… And I assure you, you will not be the last one… You are going through a really hard time right now, It's not uncommon for you to seek some kind of comfort in this situation and Erwin was there last night to provide said comfort. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as it doesn't affect your superior-subordinate relationship. You'd be surprised by the amount of times something like this happens. I mean, just look at Mike and Nanaba!"_

" _But they actually feel something for each other…"_

" _Yes, right now they do. But they used to seek each other after every expedition for comfort… Sometimes you just need someone there to hold you…" She put a hand on Lily's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about it… I'm sure everything will fall into place once again, you just need to let the time work and soon things will be back to normal."_

 _Lily would always thank Hange for this… Just two weeks after the ordeal, everything was normal once again and she could finally breath relieved._

 **That afternoon:**

Lily felt in a significant better mood after training. She went to her room to grab her towel and some other things before taking a shower. She opened the wardrobe to remember that she had washed her towels yesterday, they should be drying at the moment. She was about to close the door when something caught her attention. It was and old box in which she stored objects that brought her memories.

She took the box out and sat on the bed. It was covered in dust, she hadn't taken it out in years. She opened it and the first thing that caught her attention was and old letter. It was a letter Jaquelin had sent when she couldn't get home for her birthday. There was also a doll, very old and almost falling to pieces. Most of those things were useless but still brought a smile to her face. Suddenly, something caught her eye; it was and old bracelet, her father had given it to her when she turned eleven. Soon she had grown and she had to stop wearing it, it didn't fit on her wrist anymore. She grabbed it admiring the single charm it had, she suddenly realized that the charm looked like a small key.

Lily got up from the bed and practically launched herself against her desk over which the chest her mom had given her two years ago still rested. She had not been able to open it but she forgot about it. She grabbed it taking a deep breath before trying the key, her heart stopped for a second when the key fit perfectly. She closed her eyes and turned it just to open them again as she heard a click sound.

To say she was disappointed was an understatement… Inside the chest, there just a bunch of unorganized notes. They were all messy and difficult to read. She grabbed one randomly and tried to read it, this proved to be a greater effort than she thought it'd be but she was finally able to make out a few words.

" _Why are we here? Inside these walls, we serve no purpose to them. In the end, we are just vessels, waiting to be used."_

That was all she could read at the moment, the rest of the page was way to damaged. She out everything back in the chest carefully.

She decided to go fetch her towel and finally take a shower when she suddenly felt a great pang of curiosity in her chest. She immediately sat on her desk and took the chest in her hands once again. She saw that some of the notes had dates written in it and the calligraphy varied between notes. She finally took a deep breath and decided to begin organizing them. The sooner she discovered what that was all about, the sooner she'll be free from her curiosity.

 **Five days later:**

"Mike, you are back already… How did it go? Did the new formation went through?" She asked when she came upon Mike in the hallways, he had just arrived.

"Yes… The situation is a bit more complicated than that, but you could say so." He said handing her a piece of paper. "Erwin is requesting you to go to Mitras, there's something we need to take care of in the Underground. All important information is in those documents." He explained while Lily gave them a quick read. "I suggest you get ready, we need to get to Sina as soon as possible." With this, he turned and left before she could ask any questions.

She had no time nor the position to question Erwins methods but bring criminals from the Underground… That seemed like too much of a risk to take. She went to her room to get her things ready.

"Hey! You two?" asked Nifa who was also getting everything ready to go. "Marcus is coming too."

"Did you read the documents?" She asked as she began gathering her things. "I know Erwin can be reckless but I never thought he'd do something like this." Suddenly, she felt a book hit the back of her head.

"You really shouldn't doubt your Squad Leader, Lily! That can get you in serious trouble." Said Nifa frowning. Lily managed to stiff a laugh. Even if Nifa was the youngest of her friends, she had a motherly attitude towards them that she found way too cute.

"Believe me, over the years I've found that trusting him is the best way to get around, must of his strategies have kept us alive countless times… Still, alive doesn't mean precisely uninjured. I've noticed that when something backfires is because Erwin decides to bet and even then things tend to work out for the best! Don't worry, Nifa, I know better than to doubt the man I owe my life to." Said Lily as they both exited the room together.

The road to Mitras was a long one… They left the headquarters early in the morning and were barely arriving in the afternoon. Lily and Nifa had found nothing else to do except falling asleep on each other's shoulders. That at least, kept them busy until they reached the place.

When they got out of the carriage, they were met by Commander Shadis and Squad Leader Erwin. They all saluted and immediately moved to meeting room.

"The criminals we are trying to recruit have achieved three dimensional maneuver gears, we don't know how but they have learned to use them very well, I've seen them myself. They don't even try to hide because members from the Military Police almost never enter de city so it won't be hard to recognize them." Explained Erwin. "We don't know where they hide out is, but there are some places they tend to visit." He signaled a map in the center of the table in which those places had been marked.

"Squad Leader, I assume they will not come peacefully. What's the plan?" asked Nifa.

"Well, we are talking about three criminals. Two of them seem to know how to control themselves, but the other one, the girl, she seems the get carried away easily. Lily, Nifa you're both pretty fast, a short persecution will tire and frustrate her, after that, she'll be easier to captured." They both nodded, accepting his orders. "The other guy, the blond he is highly skilled but I'm sure Marcus can overtake him easily. The leader, on the other hand, has obtained a level of skill that even some trainees can't obtain. Mike and I will take him down. All of you need to make sure to capture them as fast as possible, don't let them get too far for each other. Understood?" He asked looking at the people around the table.

"Yes sir!" was the answer he got from his subordinates.

"Perfect. Go and get some rest. Tomorrow in the morning, we mobilize to the Underground City and carry on with the plan. You are all dismissed." All four of them saluted and left the room quietly. They did just as they were told and went to rest, the mission they had ahead of them seemed to be a complicated one…

 **The next day:**

"Are you sure this is the place?" Asked Lily looking at her surroundings. Everything was considerably darker than on the surface, the air felt heavier.

"Yes, this is a common route for the merchants to use. Our subjects tend to target merchants. The probabilities of them appearing here is higher than in any other place of the underground." Answered Erwin.

They were currently waiting in one of the many alleys of the Underground, covering their faces and their gears so they wouldn't get too much attention. Suddenly, a loud crash was heard and screams calling for the Military Police followed soon after.

"That's the sign… You know the plan, make sure they don't go to far. Now!" Ordered Erwin and they all set off using their gears. They soon spotted three people with gears in front of them, that was it.

They kept moving in the same direction for almost some meters until the criminals changed their course drastically and began moving in the opposite direction. For the Military Police soldiers that accompanied them, it was impossible to follow. But for the rest of them was easier to adapt. Suddenly the two on the sides took other directions.

"Nifa!" Called Lily who had quickly began to follow a flash of red hair.

The girl made a few sharp turns in order to confuse them but they always seemed to be a step ahead. She screamed something they couldn't understand and entered a building through the window.

"You go after, I'll go above and meet you at the end." Said Nifa moving to the top of the building. Lily entered the same window catching sight of the redhead quite quickly.

They were running through the seemingly abandoned building and Lily was closing up on her, she could even hear the girls agitated breaths. They soon made it to the other side of the building were the girls tried to get out through other window but was soon retained by Lily who grabbed her from and behind and Nifa who quickly took the operating device out of her hands.

They landed safely on the ground and the girl tried to brake herself free once her feet had touched the ground. Lily reacted faster and pushed her against the wall, grabbing her wrists and putting a pair of cuffs on them.

"Take of her gear, quickly!" She said to Nifa who immediately began undoing the binds that kept the gear firm on the body.

Nifa worked quickly as Lily neutralized every single movement the girl tried to do.

"That's it… I'll take this with me, we must get to the Squad Leader, now." Lily nodded an put the girl's hand behind her back. She immediately fought against it.

"I'd come quietly if I were you… You don't know how your friends are doing." Said Lily tightening her grip on the girl's arms.

"Hah! As if you guys could ever catch them! We are better than any soldier with those gears!"

"Well, we captured you, didn't we? Besides, we are not any soldiers…" She said while they quickly followed the road they had seen Erwin and Mike take.

They were soon joined by Marcus who had a tight grip on the blond man. He didn't seem to be given as much of a fight as he female friend. They soon arrived at other alleyway just in time to she the leader of the gang attack Erwin with a knife and being barely stopped by Mike.

"Squad Leader! Are you all right!" Screamed Nifa. The gang leader turned to look at them, his eyes softening in a matter of seconds. He finally let go of the knife he had been holding, he finally gave up thanks to the sight of his friends already captured.

"You are quick at reading the situation." Said Erwin with a little smile on his face. "Mike, put the cuffs on him. Marcus you begin taking off his gear." He ordered. Soon, all three criminals were kneeling in front of them. "I'd like you to answer a few questions." Said the blond man with a calm and authoritarian voice. "Were did you get these?" He asked motioning to the gears. No answer was heard. "You displayed exceptional skill in using the 3DMG. Who taught you how to use it?" Still, there was no answer coming from them. "You are the leader, right?" He asked to the short man in the middle. "Do you have any military training?" The only answer he got this time, was a gaze filled with hate. "How do I kill this guy and make a run for it… It's written all over your face." He turned to look at Mike. "I was hoping to avoid using violence but…"

In one swift movement, Mike had grabbed the man's head and slammed it against the mud and sewer water on the ground. Lily turned to look anywhere else. She was used to fighting titans, but she had never fought against other humans, unless you count training, that is. The look of the raven-haired man's face was now one of pure rage.

"Let me ask you one more time… Where did you learn to use the 3DMG?" He kept asking, his eyes as cold as ice.

"No one taught us, all right?!" Screamed the only girl in the group. "So get off your high horse already, you fucking civil servant!" Erwin's gaze turned to one of curiosity, unmoved by the girl's insult.

"We learned in order to survive in this dump." Clarified the blond guy. "Guys like you who don't even know the taste of sewer water would never understand!" Erwin once again choose to ignore the unnecessary comment and got closer to the leader.

"My name is Erwin Smith… Your name is?" Mike took his face out of the mud so he could answer. He didn't, he just kept glaring at him. "You've got spirit but… If you keep this up, your friends will be the ones to pay the price." The man turned to look at his friends, Marcus had already grabbed the guy and was ready to push him in the puddle as well.

"What the hell are you waiting for? Just do it already!" Called the girl glaring at Lily. She felt Erwin's penetrating gaze on her so she opened her hand, which she hadn't realized had become a fist, and grabbed the girl's head, threatening to push her too.

"You bastard…" Muttered the man under his breath.

"Your name?" Asked the Squad Leader once again choosing to ignore him.

"It's Levi…" He gave the answer through gritted teeth.

"Levi… Why don't we make a deal?" Asked Erwin kneeling in front of him. Levi's eyes were now both curious and slightly surprised. "None of you will be charged with anything. In exchange, lend us your power. Enlist in the survey corps."

"And if I refuse?" Levi's voice had penetrated the tense silence that had formed.

"We'll hand you over to the Military Police." He answered. "Think of all the crimed you've committed up until now. Your friends will also desire the same treatment, am I correct?" He let the proposal sink in for a few seconds. "The choice is yours…"

"All right… I'll join the survey corps."


	6. Chapter 5

Okay, first of all, I want to say: sorry! This is not the best chapter I've written so I want to apologize in case you find it boring. I have no excuses but to say is something I need to work on… (You know when you have point A and point B but the way to get from one to another is still blurry and undefined… Well, yeah…) So I hope you enjoy the chapter, the next one is already halfway done and I hope it makes up for this one…

 **Chapter 5**

"We will not stay here for long. Make sure they stay in the carriages. You hurry up and gather your things, you have ten minutes" Ordered Erwin to an MP soldier as they arrived at the Military Police headquarters where they had stayed the night before.

"We'll arrive at Wall Maria in the really early morning… Wouldn't it be better to stay the night?" Asked stretching his arms with a tired gesture.

"Does criminals have been wanted by the Military Police for a long time, having them stay too close to them would not be our smartest idea. Besides, if they escape while we are in Mitras, there's a chance they'll get back to the underground and hide. The faster we are in unknown territory for them, the better." Explained Mike. With that, they all went on separate ways.

Lily had shared a room with Nifa for a long time now but, no matter how much she tried, she could never get Lily to stop being messy… As a result of this, Nifa was ready and out of the building when Lily had just exited the room. She began to make her way outside when she saw someone in front of her.

Lifting her face, she saw a man she had never seen before. He stood watching her with his hands behind him as if he was waiting for something. As a mechanic impulse, she saluted and the man's expression softened a bit, she guessed that was what he was expecting so she tried to continue her walk. She had to stop once again as he initiated a conversation.

"Excuse me for retaining you, cadet Dekker. My name is Nile Dawk, I'm commander of the Military Police." Lily's eyes opened in surprise as the man spoke with a gentle smile on his face. "I know this is not precisely orthodox, a Commander seeking a soldier from other division directly, but it has come to my attention that my predecessor had proposed to you to transfer into our lines… I never thought anyone could reject such proposal, so I guess your decision spiked my curiosity." He stopped talking, leaving Lily to wreck her brain in search for an appropriate answer.

"W-well, sir… There are certain things I have yet to accomplish while being part of the Survey Corps. I hope my decision did not offend anyone but, as my situation hasn't changed, I don't see my self transferring any time soon." She explained. "Besides, only the best trainees are given the chance to join the Military Police… I didn't even make it to the Top Ten of my promotion, so I didn't think I deserved it."

"Well, I don't know about that… Many higher ups certainly thought you did deserve it!" He gave Lily a pad on her shoulder just seconds before they were interrupted.

"Lily, we are only waiting for you." Said a voice behind Nile as Erwin got closer and closer to them. His eyes ice cold towards Nile.

"I'm sorry Squad Leader…"

"No need to be sorry!" Interrupted Nile. "Excuse me, Erwin. It was my fault, I retained her when she was about to leave." He explained giving Erwin a pat on the back. "Let me accompany you outside. How have you been?" He asked Erwin while walking with them to the exit. Lily walked behind them watching them interact. Her Squad Leader remained unfaced, but Nile acted as if they were long time friends. "Well, good luck with those criminals Erwin. If you ever wanted to get them off your hands, you know what to do…" He turned to Lily. "Cadet Dekker, if you reconsider don't doubt to contact me. Your Squad Leader can help you with that."

They both saluted him one last time and got inside the carriage. Mike drove it and Marcus had fallen asleep as soon as he entered. Commander Shadis chose to drive the other carriage as Nifa watched the criminals.

"Squad Leader… Please forgive me if this question bothers you… How do you know Commander Dawk?" She asked. They considered each other friends so they were on a first name basis as long as there were no superiors around. But Erwin had already noticed that Lily became way more formal when she was afraid to offend him or when she thought she was about to say something inappropriate.

"Yes, we graduated in the same promotion, you could say we were friends. As usual, we lost contact when we chose different divisions." Explained Erwin. "What did he want to talk to you about?"

"The letter the Military Police sent two years ago, about me transferring… He wanted to know why I had turned down the offer. He didn't seem to know why they wanted me to transfer though." She explained, shrugging.

"And what, may I ask, happened to you earlier today? Those criminals are going to be part of our lines from now own but that doesn't mean they'll go peacefully about it, showing any signs of weakness was the worst thing to do at the moment." Lily tensed up at the clear reprimand of her superior.

"When I enlisted, I was ready to fight and kill titans… I never thought I'd also have to apprehend and interrogate criminals. If that was what I wanted, I would have joined the Garrison instead." Her arms were crossed in front of her and she gave sigh. "Look, Erwin… I trust you, with my life and I trust whatever reason you have to do this but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm deeply sorry I let you down today."

"I'm telling you this for your own good, Lily. These criminals are dangerous, their names are known all over the Underground and the Military Police have been trying to catch them for years. Making them join was easier than I thought It'd be, that makes me believe they may be planning something. Is they target you, there's no guarantee we'll be able to help you. Understood?" Lily simply nodded and felt relieved once his eyes softened. She knew he was keeping information from her, but it was not her place to judge or question him…

By the time they arrived at the headquarters, it was still dark outside. They stretched as they got down of the carriages.

"So, what are our orders, Squad Leader?" asked Lily as Erwin exited the carriage behind her.

"For now, get some rest. You should be able to get three or four hours of sleep before breakfast. After that, our new recruits will be presented as part of the Survey Corps and assigned to a squad so we can keep and eye on them." Said the blond. "Marcus, take them to the rooms and make sure there's security around them. The rest of you, to your rooms."

Lily and Nifa entered their room as quietly as possible, knowing that Nanaba was probably asleep. They got into their own beds, which proved to be way more difficult for Nifa whose bed was right above Nanaba's, and closed their eyes, trying to get some rest.

In the morning, Lily woke up at the feeling of someone shaking her gently.

"Hey… I didn't want to wake you guys yet but you'll miss breakfast if you don't hurry." Said Nanaba. Lily sat on her bed and caught the sight of Nifa who was clearly trying to stay awake. "When did you arrive? I did not hear you."

"Not too long ago…" Answered Lily. "Let's go, I would really like to have at least some tea before today. It's bound to be an interesting day…" She said jumping out of the bed gathering as much energy as she could.

The breakfast was kind of rushed, all soldiers had been ordered to head to the training grounds at the same time. There were some "news" that everyone needed to hear… Of course, some information about their mission had already reached other's ears, news traveled fast in the military but also did rumors, so there was no safe way for other people to find out what the mission in the underground was really about.

Soon they were all lined up in the training grounds in front of the platform where Commander Shadis was already standing. Beside him, stood the three newest additions to the Corps. Everyone's eyes were filled with curiosity at the sight of the unfamiliar faces. Some whispering could be heard among the soldiers, recalling rumors and stories that had been going around.

"Attention all troops!" exclaimed the commander making everyone silent in a matter of seconds. "The three recruits you see standing up here are our new comrades who will be fighting along with us, starting today." The expressions of the soldiers were varied, from anger to worry they all shared a different emotion. "All right, you three, go and introduce yourself to everyone." He ordered to the three new recruits in a lower voice.

The former gang-leader directed his cold eyes towards Erwin, glaring at him before introducing himself in an emotionless voice.

"The name's Levi." His bored expression and lack of last name left some soldiers astounded. Besides, despite his height he was definitely very intimidating.

"I'm Isabel Magnolia. Pleased to meet ya!" The girl was definitely energic. She had a cheeky smile on her face as she stared down at them.

"I'm Farlan Church. Hey." He was clearly the only one of the three who made an effort to introduce themselves formally. He even finished with a very poor attempt at the salute, but an attempt, no less.

"Flagon, these three will be assigned to you Squad. Take care of them." He informed the Squad Leader who didn't seem happy at all about having to take care of criminals. "Are you dissatisfied?" Asked the Commander as he saw Flagon's face contort in displeasure.

"N-no…" Answer Flagon in low voice. "But, shouldn't Erwin be the one taking care of them?"

"Erwin is already tasked with the new formation. They will be your responsibility. Is that understood?" He asked making known that this decision was final. Flagon still greeted his teeth at the prospect of having them in his squad, but there was nothing he could do to avoid it.

 **Four days later:**

Everyone was still getting used the three new recruits. Commander Shadis even had to sort out some problems in the men's barracks because there were many people uncomfortable with them sleeping in there. For the girl, at least, there was no much that could be done… Women's barracks were fewer and smaller so there were no many options.

Everyone was taken back their abilities with the 3DMG, some of then were even offended by them… They couldn't conceive the idea of someone being better than them without the proper training. It was understandable, they had trained for years to be part of the Survey Corps and suddenly three criminals showed up and amazed everyone with their self-taught techniques. That was bound to bother some people.

Lily was now walking towards Isabel's room, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door. She did not answer to the usual "Who is it?" question because she already knew what reaction she'll get. So she waited until the door opened.

Isabel's smile was wiped off her face as she saw the woman who had trapped her back in the underground. She attempted to close the door on Lily's face, but her move had already been predicted and Lily's foot was now blocking the door.

"Listen, I know you are angry, but this is getting ridiculous! I've trying to get you in the training grounds since breakfast so you can pick a goddam horse and you are acting like a child!" Exclaimed Lily clearly exasperated. "So, if you could please hurry, that'd help us both. I want to get this over with and I'm sure you don't want Flagon screaming at your door…"

"Did you say horse?" asked Isabel without meeting her eyes.

"Err, yes… We use horses on every expedition, is the only way to get away from the titans…" Before she could finish with her phrase, Isabel had already began running towards the training grounds.

Lily gave a large sigh before going slowly behind her… There was no rush, so she took her time. Her squad had not began training yet, they were waiting for Erwin and for some of the other squads to move out of the training grounds so they'd have more space. That was why Flagon had "asked" her to get his new recruit out of her room… She knew the poor girl was probably still sore over her defeat in the underground. But she couldn't be angry forever, could she?

She got to the training grounds and directed her gaze in the direction of the barns. There, Isabel had already taken out a horse and was ready to ride it. She watched amazed the ease with which Isabel controlled the animal, it was almost as if it could understand her words. Suddenly, a hand on her shoulder distracted her.

"So, how did it go?" asked Erwin smirking slightly at her.

"Exactly how I predicted… She really hates me." Answered Lily. "I understand why Squad Leader Flagon sent me but still… It's no fair that I'm the one getting a door thrown at my face when he was supposed to take care of them." She complained earning a chuckle from the blond.

"He does not think they should be his responsibility… Still he can't go against the commander's orders so I guess he will try to take every opportunity to set someone else with the burden." Explained Erwin turning his head as his subordinate sighed. "What do you think?"

"I think you were right… They are a great addition to the corps." Said Lily plainly. "They have abilities I haven't seen even in higher ups, especially the small one." She said looking as Flagon reprimanded Levi on his way to grab the blades. "Still, I don't think they are trustworthy."

"I don't think anyone has decided to trust them yet… I'm sure this up coming expedition will change everything." Erwin's hands were behind his back as he looked in the same direction as Lily, now watching how Levi took off the ground with an amazing speed.

"Expeditions can change a lot of things… Although I have yet to see their effects on criminals… How's the formation going?" asked Lily turning to face her Squad Leader, changing the subject abruptly.

"You'll find out later on… Oh, Hange and Moblit are already here." Said Erwin and they both turned to look at the other two members of the squad. Hange was looking way too exited…

"Remind me not to spar with Hange today, she is looking way too happy." Whispered Lily receiving a chuckle and a pat on her head from her companion.

* * *

"Are you sure about that, Farlan?" asked Levi. He, Farlan and Isabel had met in the almost deserted training grounds after lunch. "It doesn't seem likely to me that someone as careful as Smith would leave the documents in someone else's hands…"

"Look, I've seen them… They are close, I've already searched his room and they are not in there… If someone else in here has it, it could be her." Explained Farlan. "Look, I know I could be wrong but it's a possibility and we cannot really afford to ignore it… I say we search her room."

"Fine… But we need to go about this carefully, she does not sleep alone. You need to make sure that there is absolutely no one in her room before you get in. And you should also make sure you know who are her roommates so you can keep them monitored."

"What's the big deal? My room is close to hers, I could go in any time if it is empty!" Exclaimed Isabel.

"You probably want to go in her room to take some kind of revenge at her and the other girl for capturing you… That'd be too obvious, you'd be caught almost immediately." Said Farlan firmly. "There's no way we are letting you close to that room."

"I agree with Farlan on this, you are not going anywhere close to that woman." Finished Levi disregarding the pout on Isabel's face. "Remember why we are here for, do not get side-tracked."

"Well… If I am right and she has the documents we are looking for… She might know what's in them. That means, we'd need to kill her too." Farlan put a hand on his chin as he said this.

"It is not par of the deal but… Just a collateral, yes, I don't thin it'd be a great deal." Added Levi. "Well, you know what you have to do. Just be careful."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It really felt good to wake up at a decent hour… Not really having to worry about training and being certain that you'd be able to spend the day relaxing… That was what Lily loved about day offs in the Survey Corps.

Since her dad died, she had begun to use every day off she got to see her mother… With time, Evangeline convinced her otherwise, their fights were a bit too constant for both of them, so they agreed that with Lily visiting after the expeditions and writing letters regularly they could settle. Thanks to that, Lily had already gotten used to how quiet the headquarters were when a lot of the soldiers went to visit their families. She just loved it!

"Oh hey! I'm glad you woke up. I would have been sorry if I left without saying goodbye to you!" Said Nifa as Lily sat on the bed.

"Hey I would have understood! Say hello to your family from me." She was still sleepy but she managed to get out of bed and search the wardrove for he towel. She would be better after she had a shower.

"Hey, Lils! Do you have something planned for today?" asked Hange in her usual exited voice while she sat next to the blue-eyed girl at breakfast.

"No, not really. You have something in mind?" She asked curiously while Nanaba and Mike joined them in the table.

"Well, we were thinking about going out for some drinks tonight. You're in?" said the brunette. Lily simply nodded as she stuffed a piece of bread on her mouth. "How about you, Squad Leader?" She said with a little mocking tone at her superior's range.

"Well, I still have to work on the details for the new formation but if I'm free before tonight I'll join you." Answered the blond sitting in front of them. "Also, I think you may want to consider leaving headquarters before night… I think might be looking for someone to watch the new recruits in his stead." He whispered. It really wasn't a surprise. Everyone knew that Flagon was still bitter about being the one babysitting criminals.

"That seems like something he'd do… To be fair, I would also be frustrated if I had to stay taking care of new recruits in my day off." Added Nanaba finishing her plate. "Why don't we meet and dawn? We'll decide where to go from there." She suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement and watched as the blond retired from the room after leaving the dishes.

"Well there's something I wanted to work on, so I better get to it or I'll never do it." Said Lily, getting up off the table and following the same trail as Nanaba had. "See you later, guys!" She finished as she walked out of the room.

* * *

"Are you completely sure about that, Farlan?" Asked Levi while leaning on a wall in an isolated part of the headquarters. "You know that if something disappears and notices it, we'll be the prime suspects, right?" He asked. Farlan's plan was good but a little too risky, specially considering the fact that they were acting on a hunch. They didn't even know for sure that Lily Dekker had the documents they were looking for.

"I know, I've considered that… But I've already checked Erwin's room three times, the documents are not there… I know we may be wrong but we can't afford to ignore it." Said Farlan. "Look, she shares her room with other two women, one of them went out and will not return until tomorrow. She and the blond one are going out tonight, they'll leave their room unattended, we may not find an opportunity like this one before. Besides, if we are quick we can do everything before she notices it, we'll be safe."

"Okay so… Let's go through the plan once more… Farlan and I go into their room and search it while big bro stays outside in case someone's coming. Is that right?" Asked Isabel with a bored expression on her face. He really wanted nothing else to do with that woman, was that so hard to understand?

"Yes that's it… The headquarters are going to be almost empty tonight but we can't risk someone to find us. If we are compromised, you hit the door as casually as possible and we'll go out the window." Explained Farlan to Levi. "Still, try to distract whoever may come as much as possible, try to buy us as much time as you can. Is that okay?

"Yeah, that's fine… You two be careful and be sure to look as fast as you can. I still don't think someone as careful as Smith would leave something so important in someone else's hands. So make it quick and don't take any fucking risks." Finished Levi. "Farlan, keep an eye on Isabel while you're in there… We don't need her to try and get revenge on Dekker." He turned and made his way to the barracks ignoring Isabel's complains behind him.

* * *

"So… Here it is!" Said Hange excitedly as she brought the first round of beers to the table, Mike close behind her, helping her with the beers. "Aaagh, this is good! I really needed to get out." Exclaimed the brunette after downing almost half her beer in one gulp.

"Well, Miss Hange, that's kind of your own fault for spending your free time in your notes…" Spoke Moblit, shyly. The man was really formal when he spoke and since he joined the squad, he seemed to have taken it upon himself to take care of Hange.

"Hey, let's not talk about that! This is our night off. It will probably be the last one before the next expedition. We would should make the most out of it!" Exclaimed Hange once again.

"Yeah that's right… Besides, Flagon's being making everyone's lives miserable! That guy really has an issue." Said Nanaba earning laughs from her companions.

"Well, I can't think of a single person who'd want to be on his place." Added Mike.

"Well yeah but he doesn't have to be a pain about it!" Continued Lily while laughing.

"Hey, Lils, what's up with you? It is a beer, not liquid gold. You don't have to make it last!" Mocked Hange. Lily had barely tasted her beer.

"I'm not kin to the idea of waking up with my head pounding tomorrow. Besides, you know what happens when I get drunk! I would really like to have control of my actions, thank you very much!" She finished with a small gulp of her beer, feeling her Squad Leader's eyes on her during barely a second.

"Hey what do you think he is doing?" Whispered Nanaba at Lily, she was signaling Marcus who seemed to be lost in his thoughts looking at the people in the bar.

"He's probably looking for someone to get laid!" Exclaimed Hange without regarding her friend's private thoughts, startling him. "What? It's true, isn't it?" She reached to the other side of the table and padded him on the shoulder. "It shouldn't be difficult, women love a man in uniform." She winked playfully at him making Lily and Nanaba roar with laughter due to the blush on his cheeks.

"No! It's just… That girl…" He said as the women in the table looked as discretely as possible to one of the barmaids, the youngest one. "We used to be friends when we were children, she is really nice… Oh well, that's how I remember her." He finished shyly. He was the youngest member of the squad so bothering him was a lot of on.

"Well, I think you should go for it. Ask her out!" Said Lily. "I'm not looking to be grim or anything but now's your chance. You don't know if you'll ever see her again… Go, ask her!" Marcus shook his head many times and downed the rest of his beer.

"No, I don't think is a good idea… We haven't spoke in years! She probably forgot about me already." Lily rolled her eyes but added nothing else to the conversation.

"Maybe… Or maybe you're losing your time, thinking about all of this instead of acting like a man and go talk to her." Stated Nanaba as if it was obvious making Marcus blush even more.

"They are not going to stop unless you do what they say…" said Erwin looking sympathetically at his subordinate. "Just go and we'll keep them at bay when you come back." Marcus took a deep breath and got up, his face was a mixture of worry and resignation.

"Go on, it's really no big deal!" exclaimed Hange, as Marcu's pace seemed too slow for her liking.

"Oh really?" asked Lily mockingly. "Well, if it's not that big of a deal, don't you have something to say to Commander Shadis?" Hange blushed wildly due to both embarrassment and alcohol.

"Oh! That's the battle you'll choose to fight, Lils?" She answered, her tone a little threatening. "Well if you are so sure about that…" She was interrupted before she could go on.

"All right, all right, I'm sorry!" Exclaimed Lily covering Hanges mouth with her hand. "Just shut up, will you?" Hange gave her thumps up. Lily released her friend and they got back to drinking and eating pretty soon.

"Well… Looks like we were right… Cheers for that." Said Nanaba pointing at the door of the bar, Marcus was currently going out, the girl from before grabbing his arm. The three girls made a small toast to celebrate their "success as matchmakers. Mike rolled her eyes while smirking and Erwin simply chuckle and shook his head.

"Wait up, I'll go and get us another round." Said Hange quickly disappearing through the people in the bar.

Nanaba and Mike were soon in a conversation between just the two of them. Lily felt a wave of heat hit her, probably thanks to her tipsiness and the amount of people in the place, she decided the best thing to do was to go out and get some fresh air before the next round. She excused herself, mostly to Erwin considering Mike and Nanaba paid little to no attention to her, and went out of the bar.

She stood there for some minutes, enjoying the breeze… Since the first time she had gone on an expedition, she noticed the air outside the walls was much cleaner. Later on, she admitted she yearned for it while being inside the walls. She'd certainly rather die breathing that clear air than die feeling her lungs for the last time with the heavy breeze inside the walls.

"It's not the same is it? In here…" said a voice behind her back. She turned to see Erwin joining her. They had gotten a little far of the noise of the bar.

"What? Do you read minds now?" She said smiling. "No, it's not… I really hope someday we'll be able to breath freely."

"Well, that's what we fight for…" they feel into a sort of comfortable silence, they didn't even look at each other. Still, Erwin's mind never stopped working, there were some things he felt the urge to know. That drove him to break the silence. "What was Hange talking about, back then?" As usual, he went straight to the point. Lily visually tensed up, clearly not expecting the question… But hell! When did this man ever do something she expected?

"You mean… The threat?" she turned to look at him feeling smaller than she already was as she saw her reflection in his light-blue eyes. He simply nodded and waited for her answer. "Oh it was nothing! It's just… Hange knows a lot of embarrassing stuff about me… Things I've done, thoughts I've had… I didn't know what would she reveal so I stopped her…" Well that was not completely a lie, except she was almost sure she knew what Hange was about to say.

"I see…" said the blond, clearly unsatisfied with the answer. "Lily, may I ask you something?" She simply nodded her hands grabbing strongly the cloth of her brown dress. "What happened between us two years ago… I just wanted to say that, I don't think we ever discussed it."

"We did… We talked, we agreed it was a mistake that would never be repeated…" She frowned. She was clearly not prepared for him to bring the topic up after two years. "I don't think we should talk about that again. I mean… We've been fine." Erwin frowned at this, his mind going back to that morning.

After they had talked, Lily went back to her room trying to enter before everyone woke up. He had taken a shower and went he got back in the room, he noticed a small red stain in the sheets. That confirmed what he was fearing since he saw her asleep beside him, that had been her first time. He thought about talking to her about it again but she soon began acting as if nothing had happened so he decided to do same, thinking it was not that important to her… But now that Hange had almost brought the topic to the light… He knew he might have been wrong…

"Lily, I just don't want anything to be left unsaid…"

"Don't you think it's a little late for that? We were doing fine, I am fine with things the way they are right now… Why bring it up after two years?" Her hands had turned into fists as she tried not to snap at her squad leader. "Besides, there is nothing left unsaid! We were both drunk, we had sex, but it meant nothing. We've moved on…" She looked elsewhere for some seconds before sighing. "I think I've drank enough… I'll be going back to the headquarters. Please, say sorry to the guys for me. Would you?" she hugged herself and began walking away from the bar.

Erwin sighed as he watched her leave. He knew she would not appreciate his company while returning to the headquarters. She was perfectly capable of defending herself so he decided to let it go, for the moment, and go back inside the bar.

Lily arrived at the headquarters feeling awful… Why couldn't he just leave it there? Why did he want to talk about it today?

She decided to make herself some tea before going to bed, trying to calm down her nerves. She put the water in the fire and waited for it to heat while looking for a cup and the tea leaves. She began to pour the hot water when she was distracted again by her thoughts, the cup was quickly full and the hot water began to spill. She didn't realize until her felt a burning pain in the hand that was meant to hold the cup still.

Complaining soundly, she began to pour colder water onto it feeling relieved as the pain lessened a little bit. She knew Nifa had something for burns in their room, she knew her friend would not be angry to know she had used some of it.

She made her way to her room silently, in case there was someone sleeping. Before, she realized she was just at the corner, she just had to take one more turn. Suddenly she felt her body being crash and being pushed backwards. She immediately clutched her injured hand to protect it as she fell on her butt.

"Hey, watch where you're going, brat." Said a voice in front of her. Her eyes moved upwards to find Levi staring at her as if she was some dirt he had to clean. She saw his gaze move to the back of her hand which was still slightly red.

"What the hell did you do?" He asked as she got up the floor.

"It's nothing. I was just making tea and spilled hot water…"

"Tsk, now I know I shouldn't worry about the expeditions anymore. If someone as stupid as you has managed to make it back alive, anyone can do it." Lily frowned. She knew she shouldn't let him get to her but still felt offended by his comments. She tried to ignore him and continue her way when he blocked it once again. "What are you going to do with that?"

"My roommate has some kind of ointment for burns, I'll just grab some of it." Lily tried to brush him off and walk past him. For a second, she thought she was going to make it and then felt her other arm be grabbed strongly. Her reflexes forced her into a fighting stance as she turned to face him. He had raised his one of his eyebrows at her reactions.

"Considering how you got this injured, I wouldn't be surprised if you confused "ointment" with something else. Come here." He began walking in the other direction, dragging her along, ignoring every single one of her complaints along with his desire to shove anything in her mouth to shut her up. He took her to the infirmary despite her attempts to get away. "Will you just shut the fuck up and sit there like a good girl?" He snapped at her, as he pushed her down to sit on one of the beds.

Lily shut her mouth due to the impression. He moved quickly around the room and grabbed a little jar with something white inside it and bandages. He grabbed her hand a little harshly and opened the jar. A little minty scent came out of the white ointment. She felt a refreshing sensation as Levi spread the ointment over the back of her hand. They both stayed silent until he had finished by wrapping her hand up with the bandages.

"It should be better now… Try to keep yourself from doing something stupid again, you could end up dead the next time…" He turned to leave, his plan was to go back to Lily's room and warn Farlan and Isabel but he had to be quick…

"Hey!" Her voice stopped him in his tracks. "Thank you…" Her voice was lower, she was clearly embarrassed. "Err, do you… want a cup of tea? It shouldn't take long for me to make some more…"

Levi pondered the situation carefully… He had no desire to spend his time with one of Smith's lap dogs, but he could buy Farlan and Isabel more time if he kept her distracted. Besides, he found he was having a hard time rejecting tea.

"Well, I suppose I should make sure you don't burn your other hand." He held the door open waiting for her to pass. The look on her face told him she did not expect him to join her.

They walked silently through the halls. Levi kept his eyes glued to back of Lily's head, while she felt slightly uncomfortable… She didn't know how to react to the situation. Luckily for her, they arrived soon at the kitchens. The water had gone cold so she moved it to the fire once again to reheat it. All of this, under the scrutinizing eyes of Levi.

She did not completely trust him so she chose to keep her guard up, he could tell by simply looking at her, the way she avoided to turn her back to him, how tense her shoulders were… He clearly had the upper hand in the situation and that pleased him.

He watched as she pulled another cup out he cabinet and patiently waited for the water… The classical sound of the pot brought them from their thoughts. Lily moved to take it out of the fire when his hand stopped her once again.

"I'll do it. You'll either ruin the tea or burn something else…" Lily frowned, offended, but chose to stay quiet and let him have his way.

She watched him pour the tea in the cups. Silently, she got up and walked to the cabinets. A few seconds later, she come back with a jar of honey in her hands. Levi frowned as he handed her the cup.

"Are seriously going to put that on the tea?" He asked.

"Just a little bit… I like my tea sweet…" She said shrugging. For a moment, she though he might take the cup away from her as she grabbed a tea spoon and poured a little bit of honey and mixed it in her tea. "So… How are you dealing with the change?" She asked looking to break through the awkward silence they had gotten themselves into.

"You could say I'm glad to be out of that shithole… Still, we didn't come here willingly, idiot." He was glaring at her over his cup which, she noted, he had grabbed on a very strange way…

"Well… It was either with us or the Military Police… At least you have a certain amount of freedom in here." She tried to appear unmoved by his glare and kept drinking her tea. "Speaking about freedom, where is Squad Leader Flagon?"

"I don't know and I don't give a fuck…" He answered honestly. That man pestered him about everything he had quickly grown tired of him.

She didn't ask anything else and Levi was not wiling to make any conversation, there was not point in doing it. If Farlan found what they were looking for in her room, Lily Dekker would be dead soon.

"Big bro!" said a voice that came from the halls. A few seconds later, Isabel entered the kitchens running. "Farlan wants to see you, something about a mess in your room." Lily raised an eyebrow, this sounded just plain ridiculous. She soon found herself under the glare of the redhead, making her roll her eyes and finish her cup of tea. She got up and moved to pick up Levi's empty cup too.

"Tell him I'll be there soon…" Despite this, Isabel did nothing, she just kept standing in the door. "And what do you think you're doing, dumbass?" He asked, stopping Lily from taking his cup.

"Well, it seems like you need to go and we could get in trouble if leave this disaster in the kitchen, so I'll wash the cups." She explained as if it was obvious.

"Are you really this stupid or you just fake it? You can't get your hand wet yet." He got up and took the cups out of her hands. "You put everything else away, I'll wash the cups." He said turning his back to her.

Lily stood there astounded for a few seconds. She turned to look at Isabel, who had yet to leave and stood glaring at her with her arms crossed. She moved to grab the tea leaves and honey to put them back inside the cabinets.

They had soon finished and walked out of the kitchen together joining Isabel at the door. They separated ways and Lily simply waved and said good night to him before going to her room.

"So… Did Farlan find the person who made the mess?" He asked just in case Lily or someone nearby could hear him, hoping Isabel would catch the meaning of the question.

"Yes… I think he did." She answered with a small smirk on her face.

Once in her room, Lily realized she'd probably be alone for the night, she decided to make the most out of it and get a good night sleep praying that Nanaba wouldn't come in drunk ad noisy… Well, she'd probably stay with Mike…

She changed into her sleeping gown and made her way to the bed, pulling the covers up to her shoulders she could not help but think about her bandaged hand and, most importantly, who had fixed her up… That guy was just so weird… She couldn't make sense to any of the things he did and say. Maybe it was due to the time he spent in the Underground but his two companions were more… Well, normal… With these thoughts in her mind, she decided to close her eyes and call it a day…


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **The next morning:**

Lily woke up to the sound of the door being opened. She sat in her bed and directed her look to the window, it was probably some time around four in the morning. She turned to look at Nanaba who entered the room holding her head in one hand. She looked terrible.

"Wow… I take it you've had too much. You look awful." Said Lily as her roommate sat on her own bed as if it was the greatest challenge she had to face.

"Can you keep your voice down?" Wow… Then she was really terrible. Probably Hange had made her drink more than she could handle. Well, Lily knew, by experience that her brunette friend had no problem with this kind of tactics.

"It's okay, it's okay… You try and get some sleep. I need to work on something." She said moving as quietly as possible to her wardrobe to retrieve her father's chest. She had been trying to transcribe the content of the notes inside it… Not much of it was legible and it was really unorganized, but she was doing at best as she could. She always put it back in the wardrobe when she finished for the day so, when she couldn't see it inside it her heart stopped for a second. Her eyes drifted to the desk to see if she had left it there by mistake. Nothing… "Shit!" she exclaimed.

"Uuugh, goddammit, Lily!" moaned Nanaba from her bed, her head pounding.

"I'm sorry. It's just… It's not here…" She began frantically looking through her room. Nanaba could simply flinch at every sound that made her head feel like it weight tons more than it really did. "I never take it out of the room. Where the hell is it?" She even checked Nifa's stuff in case she had put it there by mistake. "Is Erwin here?"

"Fuck, Lily! I don't know! You go and ask him!" Lily's worry for the chest made her want to snap at her friend. But she contained her anger, thinking mainly about Nanaba's hangover, and left the room as quickly as she could.

She went to Erwin's office and knocked on his door. She didn't even rationalize that he might have been sleeping. She knocked another two times before the door was finally opened. Erwin was staring at her as if she came from the moon.

"Lily… What could possibly require my attention so early in the morning?" He asked confused. He had been awake for a while know, reviewing once again the new formation but he never expected someone this early in the morning, especially not one of his subordinates, still in her night gown.

"I think someone stole something from my room." She spoke quickly, her brows furrowed in worry and anger. "I don't know who or how they took it, but I really need it back." Erwin stopped her from going further by gently putting his hands on her shoulder.

"Lily, I need you to calm down and tell me what the stolen object is…" He said, his voice effectively calming her down.

"It's a chest, a very small one. My dad left it for me when he died." She explained traying to calm her breathing.

"What does it contain?"

"Nothing valuable… Just a bunch of notes, like entries on a journal…" She explained.

"So, I guess it has much more emotional value… Are you sure there was nothing there that could be wanted by someone else?"

"There kind of is…" She whispered. "I don't know who wrote what's in there. I assume it was more than one person. There are really old entries and the calligraphy changes from note to note… There are some of then very old and damaged but I've been trying to transcribe them. There's one of those notes that talks about the walls… It mentions their origins but leaves a lot of things unclear." She felt Erwin's hands clutch her shoulders strongly, almost hurting her.

"Why are you bringing this up until now? I could have made it priority to keep those safe if I knew what they contained." He was angry, she could tell by the tone of his voice.

"I only found out until recently… I was busy organizing the notes before I could begin to transcribe them, it took me ages." Her anger was beginning to dissipate due to nervousness Erwin's gaze and grip provoked her. She had never seen him like this before. "Erwin, I saw the chest yesterday's afternoon, before we went out. Whoever took it had to stay here during the night."

"There were not many soldiers in here last night, it should not be difficult if someone among our lines took it. But if it was someone from outside the corps…" Erwin kept his voice low.

"Many people left yesterday but not enough to have someone come in unnoticed."

"Fine… I'll talk to Commander Shadis and the rest of the Squad Leaders, we'll have them ask their squads about their whereabouts last night. Johan and May are visiting their families so I'll have Mike and Hange question their squads. That should narrow it down." He said going into his office for a couple of seconds and retrieving his jacket from the chair. "You should go and get dressed, I'll keep you updated." He began walking away from her. Lily looked down at here attire and felt awfully embarrassed. She shook the embarrassment off quickly and went to her room as fast as she could.

* * *

"Hey dude, what did the Commander want?" Levi's attention was captured by this particular conversation that two of his roommates were having.

"To be honest, I don't know… It seems like there was some trouble in here last night, they asked me where I had been all night." Levi turned to look at Farlan who seemed to be listening to same conversation. Suddenly, the door of the barracks flew open.

"Levi, do you think…?" whispered Farlan getting closer to him.

"Probably. I told, we should have put it back last night!" He said, still whispering.

"She was already in the room, we couldn't risk waking her up… It was at the bottom of the wardrobe, I never thought she'd notice it right away." Farlan was not looking straight at him, instead he was looking at his roommates who were still distracted. "Do you think Isabel…?"

"No, she won't tell them anything but we have no idea what she'll say to them. If we say something different or something that has discrepancies with her story, we're fucked." He turned to look down at the wooden floor, there was a broken floorboard which they were able to pull up and hide the chest underneath it. "We need to get rid of that thing… There was nothing in it, anyway."

"Oi, you two! Come over here, right now." The door had flown open and Flagon had walked in, pointing directly at both Levi and Farlan. He was clearly angry and they couldn't just take a chance to disobey him at the moment… They got out of the barracks without muttering a word, Levi kept his face expressionless and Farlan had managed to put his signature smirk on his face.

They found themselves facing not only their squad leader but also Commander Shadis and Squad Leader Erwin Smith.

"Is there a problem, Squad Leader?" asked Farlan smugly as he saluted.

"Oh, I'm sure you know what the problem is." Said Flagon, he was about to say something else but was stopped by Erwin.

"That's okay, Flagon. I'll take over." He said walking until he was directly in front of them. "A very important object has disappeared without trace from one of my subordinate's room. Squad Leader Flagon seemed convinced about you three having something to do with this… Do you have any ideas why?"

"Well, I guess we cannot blame him for thinking it was us but the truth is, we have no idea about what are you talking about. Besides, I'm sure Squad Leader Flagon would have known if we were up to something, he was the one who stayed behind to watch us, after all." Said Farlan calmly.

"Why, you..!" Said Flagon gritting his teeth but he was stopped again by another voice.

"Squad Leader! Here is the girl like you ordered." Said a blond woman with really short hair as she practically shoved Isabel to them.

"What kind of method to wake someone up is that?!" Screamed Isabel enraged as the woman walked away without paying any attention.

"All right you three, where is it?" Asked Flagon, Isabel was about to protest but Erwin intervened once again.

"There's no need for this, Flagon… If you really didn't steal anything, then you should just answer this simple question. What were you doing last night?" He was composed, his eyes were ice-cold.

"Hey, why do we have to answer to that?" Asked Isabel offended.

"You are not the only ones we have questioned today, we would have asked you sooner or later but thanks to your Squad Leader's insistence, we are doing it now…" Explained Erwin calmly. Farlan and Levi remained calm on the outside but they couldn't stop thinking about what Isabal would do or say.

"I… I was…" Isabel mumbled while her cheeks blushed.

"Don't even think about making up a lie, we'll know. Better tell us the truth right away." Said Flagon with a smug expression. If this turned out right, he'd be free from those criminals pretty soon.

"I was with my roommate, okay?!" Exclaimed Isabel angrily. "She's been teaching me how to read…" She lowered her head her cheeks burning. Flagon shot up immediately as if he couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Fine, your roommate should be able to confirm your story later… What about you two?" Erwin remained collected as he turned to the other two men.

"Someone left a mess in our room so Levi and I stayed to clean it up." Explained Farlan.

"Is that so…? Is there someone that can confirm what you said it's true?" Asked Erwin.

"Actually, yes… I met with a soldier in the kitchens before Farlan told me about the mess. She didn't say her name but she…" He turned to look past Erwin and caught the sight of Dekker walking towards them. "There she is…" He tried to keep his smirk from showing up which proved hard but he did it efficiently. Erwin stared at him frowning after he had seen who he had pointed to.

"Cadet Dekker, right on time…" Said Erwin as she got closer to them. Her eyes were filled with rage and sadness and she was also looking pale. "Cadet Levi here was just telling us you saw each other in the kitchens last night."

"Yes, you could say that's true… He helped me with my hand and then we went to the kitchens." She said showing them her bandaged hand.

"He also said something about cleaning a mess, do you know something about that?" Asked Commander Shadis.

"Well, yeah, after some time, she came to tell him about the mess." Lily pointed at Isabel.

"Didn't you say you had been with your roommate?" Erwin turned to look at her.

"Well yeah! I had been with Farlan before when he went into his room and saw the mess, he asked to get Levi and after I went to my room so I didn't have to clean." Explained Isabel as if it was obvious.

"Erwin you can't seriously believe them!" Exclaimed Flagon exasperated.

"That's all right, Flagon. We'll confirm your story with your roommate and then we'll search your stuff. Understood?" None of them protested. "You three will stay here being watched by Flagon while we tend to this. Mike, go look for her roommate, Lily and I are going to start searching the barracks."

Erwin entered the room, Lily following closely behind him. Soon, Farlan and Levi's roommates were ushered out of the room and the door was finally closed. They both remined with calmed and composed expressions but, at least Farlan, was almost preying they didn't find anything. Isabel seemed to have a pretty good control over her emotions. If they got out of this one, Farlan would have to be sure to congratulate her. He stopped breathing when the door opened once again after almost twenty minutes and Lily and Erwin got out of the room with neutral expressions.

"There's nothing in there that can link them to the theft. We should go and find Mike to hear about Magnolia's story and then we'll search their room. Of course, this time it will be Nanaba and Lily to search it, I trust there are no complains about that." For once, Isabel kept her mouth shut but she still crossed her arms before her chest and glared at Lily.

Isabel left with Lily and Erwin while Flagon took it upon himself to keep Levi and Farlan from going anywhere. Half an hour later, they were back.

"Well, there was no evidence either. I'm sure this should satisfy you, Flagon." Spoke Erwin and gave his fellow squad leader no time to respond. "The being said, we need to keep looking. I trust you have other things to take care of." He left, the members of his squad following closely behind him.

Flagon pestered them for a while and even tried to search their rooms himself. He finally gave up when he received direct orders from the Commander to return to his duties. Finally, Isabel breathed relieved.

"What are we going to do? We can't keep that in there forever!" Whispered Farlan when Flagon was too far away to hear them.

"We need to get rid of that thing! Throw it into the fire, who cares?" Whispered Isabel. "There's no possible way to return it right now, everyone would be watching who enters the dormitories."

"Well, what do you suggest? It's still morning, we cannot get it out of the room without anyone noticing. Besides, many of the soldiers who left for the day off are arriving today, that would just make it more difficult for us to get rid of it. Also, are you stupid? This would not burn that easily and there are no fires we have access to this time of the year." Said Farlan. "We could trie to burn what's inside it but the chest is the hardest par to hide."

"Seriously, Farlan, why does it sound like you're making excuses." Isabel stomped her feet as she said this, feeling frustrated. "There must be a way to destroy it but you don't want to!"

"We already lost too much of our time with that stupid chest, we don't need it anymore but destroy it is not as easy as you think, Isabel." Explained Levi.

"There must be away! Besides, we all agreed that she could be a casualty, goddammit you were willing to kill her when we first thought of the plan and now you everything gets complicated because you can't bring yourselves to destroy a stupid chest?" There were not many times in which Isabel had gotten this angry at them.

"I was willing to kill her if she had something to do with the documents we are looking for. Also, in this scenario, if the chest "appears" once again completely unharmed, everything would be solved faster. If it appears destroyed that would mean that the culprit is still close and we don't want to draw more unnecessary attention to us. We've gone too far with this shit. I'll find a way to get chest somewhere where it can be easily found." Said Levi completely unmoved by Isabel's attitude.

"Yes, that's right… I'm sorry, I was too impulsive and got us into this mess. From now on, we need to keep Smith as out priority and we'll need to be more cautious." Said Farlan. "How are you going to return it? What do you need?" He turned to Levi as Isabel sighed, giving up.

"Time… I Smith is probably distracted questioning Isabel's roommate but I cannot say the same thing about Flagon. I need you to keep him distracted. I won't leave it in her room but I'll make sure they'd be able to find it easily." He said.

* * *

Lily was getting more and more frustrated, she was loosing hope little by little. Erwin remained collected but she could tell he was tense and couldn't help but feel guilty about everything. She had never imagined that her father hid something like that chest. The moment she managed to make out a few words from the notes inside it, she knew that having access to that kind of information could be dangerous. But despite that, she never told Erwin…

The blonde had just finished confirming Isabel's story as she and Nanaba searched their room to find absolutely nothing, there was no need to say anything, he simply nodded, the girl had told the truth. Lily sighed and her nails buried into her jacket as she tried to calm herself.

"Let's go, there's more people to interrogate." Said Erwin walking past her, expecting her to follow him.

"Sir…" She whispered while walking behind him, he either did not hear her or chose to ignore her, so she decided to try again, this time louder, "Sir." Silence, again. "Erwin!" She exclaimed exasperated, her superior turned to look at her, frowning. "It's gone… Just let it go. You shouldn't waste your energy on this. I'll look for the chest by myself if that's what you want but this is going to far. Whoever took it must be far away from here."

"Are you hearing yourself?" Asked Erwin, his hands on her shoulders once again. "You've been part of the Scouting Legion for six years, Lily! What do we fight for? What did Jaquelin fight for?" She stared at him with surprise and fear in her eyes, he had never acted like this before. "If the information inside that chest is really about the walls, their origins… You know how much our investigation would advance with that knowledge. We cannot afford to lose it." His hands practically crushed her shoulders, causing her pain. Still, she could not answer, she stayed silent waiting for the moment he began to shake her like a rag doll.

"Squad Leader!" Said a voice from afar. They both turned to see Hange running to meet them, something wrapped in a blanket. "We found it… It was in the stables, buried under the straw." She said removing the blanket, showing them both the chest. "It was this one, wasn't it?" The brunette asked seeing that none of them answered.

Erwin turned to look at Lily, he had never seen the chest and could not confirm it. He was expecting to see her relieved and even happy but he was not expecting to find her shaking, with her eyes full of tears. Lily silently nodded and took the chest from Hange's hands.

"Hange, would you give us a moment, please?" Erwin could see that the brunette wanted to stay, probably worried about Lily, still, she nodded and took off. "Here…" He said grabbing her wrist and carefully guiding her to his office, he wouldn't put it past Hange to eavesdrop. He closed the door behind them and left Lily to sit in the chair in front of his desk. "I'm sorry, most of the things I said were out of place…"

"No! No… You were right. I'm sorry I hid this from you. To be honest, I was in denial… There are a lot of things in here I cannot understand and there are many I can't believe…" She explained as she tried to calm herself, her hand drying the tears off her cheeks.

"I understand… But now it's time to know what's in there, Lily. We may be able to find valuable information…" Lily nodded, the lock of the chest had been broken. Lily stopped breathing for a second, hoping for the notes to still be there. She closed her eyes before opening the chest.

* * *

"So, it's done… You put it back?" Asked Farlan once again.

"Yes, I left it in the stables, I made sure no one saw me. It's just a matter of time before it is found." Levi heard the relieved sigh of his friend. He frowned. The chest did not contain what they were looking for, but how could Farlan and Isabel simply brush it off. Well, he could understand why Isabel did it, but Farlan? Not quite. "What do you think all that crap was all about?" He asked, seemingly uninterested.

"Do you mean that shit about the walls? That was probably just some made up bullshit. At least, that's what it seemed like, to me." He said shrugging. "Seriously, some of things written in there were just crazy, you cannot possibly think any of it was true."

"No, it really was stupid. But why would someone keep a bunch of lies written down.?"

"I don't know, why would someone go out of these fucking walls? They are crazy, Levi. Everyone here. That woman is probably as fucked up. By the way, what was that lie about your roommate teaching how to read? How did you get away with it?" He asked, turning to look at Isabel.

"It... It's not a lie... I told her I didn't know how to read and she said she could teach me... She's being teaching me during the night so no one else would find out." Her face was read and she tried to hide it with her hands. Farlan was clearly not expecting that and kept her mouth shut. Levi simply ruffled her red hair affectionately.

* * *

"It seems unorganized but it does not seem incomplete… Although, I can't be sure. I didn't really keep track of how many of these notes there were." Said Lily taking everything out of the chest. "It was worst when I first opened it." She took out a little notebook. "Here is everything I've managed to transcribe, I've tried to do it in chronological order but there are some really hard to read." She handed the notebook to Erwin, who opened it immediately.

 _Year 747:_

 _Two years have passed… We finally finished, the story of our lands is finally ready for the rest of the people to learn. My mother has pledged her loyalty to the King, even if she had to leave father behind. She says our King is good, that he wants to lead peacefully and he will take good care of us. Still, the King has just a year left, maybe less. We've finally finished writing our history, what is going to happen to us once someone else takes the crown? I'm sure the King's children know, as well as I do, that a container without something to contain, is useless. I can only hope for the best and pray for my family, my dear Emily and my unborn child… I can only pray that they will let us live._

 _Adler Schiff._

"Have you ever heard this name before?" Asked Erwin. "Adler Schiff, do you know who he is?"

"No… I've never heard something like it, I don't know anyone with that last-name."

"Why do you think he was talking about history?" he got up and turned his back to her, staring out of the window. "About writing the history… What does that mean?"

"I really don't know… I mean, the only possibility is…"

"That people didn't have a history to rely on… That we didn't know why we were here, how had we gotten inside these walls and we needed someone to tell us…" He said pulling something out of the bookcase. "Have you noticed that, no matter where you look, you can never find any document from before the walls "appeared"?" He laid a book in front of her. "That's the most ancient history book I've ever found, it was my father's."

"It doesn't say who wrote it…" She noticed.

"No, but it does say, the year…" He said opening the very last page. "Year 748… Suspiciously close to the one in the note…"

"Are you saying whoever Adler Schiff was knew about the origin of the walls and was writing it down?"

"I don't know if he was writing the real history of the walls…" He whispered, Lily gave him a confused look. "Lily, there's something you should know, about me."


	9. Chapter 8

First of all, I'd like to thank you all for the Favs and the Follows, they really give me life. Next, just to remind you, when something is written in _Italics_ it's because that's a flashback. That being said, I'll leave you to read. Hope you enjoy it!

 **Chapter 8**

She was beginning to feel cold as the sun went down, soon it would be nighttime and tomorrow, they were going on another expedition. Lily sighed audibly at the thought, they were leaving the walls once again and that gave her mixed feelings. She loved the freedom she felt went the wind hit her face while riding her horse outside, but she was also scared, for her life and her comrade's.

"Maybe we should stop for today…" Said Erwin who sat in front of her. He had probably heard her sigh and noticed her mind had been elsewhere the last fifteen minutes.

"I'm sorry… It's really hard to concentrate." She left the notes she had been holding on the desk and got up the chair to stretch her legs. She had been sitting for almost three hours now.

"I'm sorry I wasn't too much help today, I needed to review the formation once more before tomorrow." He said putting the notes back in the chest with the others.

"Hey, If we don't get back alive all of this would be for nothing… So, if you need to check the formation again, please do so." She said earning a chuckle from her superior.

"Let's go, dinner will be served shortly." He said opening the door of his office to her.

* * *

It was really difficult to believe a month had passed since the chest incident. She and Erwin had already been close before that, they were good friends. But ever since Erwin opened up to her, at least a little bit, they began to spend a lot of time together, Erwin helped her transcribe many of the notes in the chest, sometimes he tried to read them and told her what to write or vice versa. She had thought she knew him before, but she had been very wrong… Until that day, she knew almost nothing about Erwin Smith…

 _Well, she hadn't expected herself to do that… Erwin had abruptly stopped talking when her arms when around his torso and her cheek pressed to his back. She had felt like the biggest idiot inside the walls as she hugged her superior… They had never been this close since the night they slept together, they had both kept their distances. Lily had no idea of what had passed through her mind when she decided to hug him._

" _I'm sorry…" She whispered. He did not need her, of all persons, to comfort him. He did not tell her his father's story to make her pity him. She truly was stupid… All those things flew in her mind as she slowly retreaded. She was about to take a step back to put some distance between them when a hand held hers strongly, keeping her in place._

" _That day I understood that my father died because his son had spoken too much… But overall, I understood there was something wrong with thinking the way my father did. Not for people like you or me… But for the people of power… That's when it becomes a problem. When I grew older, I realized that my father's death almost confirmed his theory, but I had nothing to prove it." He turned abruptly, surprising her, their foreheads almost crashing together as he crouched to her level to look directly into her eyes. "But maybe the proof I need is in here… Lily, we can uncover this together! We may find the key to our imprisonment in these walls, we might find a way to free humanity once and for all."_

" _Erwin, I understand, I really do… But I still doubt any of this is real." Answered Lily, for the first time she was scared of the reaction she'd get from Erwin. She tried to put some distance between them but found herself trapped between him and the desk._

" _You are smarter than that, Lily… Why would your father keep something like this in secret if everything in those notes is a lie? Why would he give it to you after he died? I'm sure that he wanted you to know what was in here." Her eyes traveled elsewhere. "Hey… I know you are scared and I understand… I cannot expect you to react calmly when you contemplate the possibility of your life being a lie… But we need this information, knowing where we really come from can be the key to getting us out of here."_

" _So, what are we going to do? Should we show these notes to the commander. What's your plan exactly?" She asked still wanting to be skeptical._

" _No, making it known right now would not be a good course of action… If you allow me, of course, I would like to read every single one of these notes and I would also like them transcribed. I understand this will take some time, but then we'll really be able to share the information with people of confidence. Right now, we are the only ones that know about this, that is if the person who stole it didn't read it."_

" _As I said, it doesn't look like someone took any of the notes… Still, I cannot be sure, I don't know the exact number of notes inside it." She answered. "So, you want me to transcribe everything in these notes so you can read them, I can understand that part, why not tell the commander at once?"_

" _First of all, I can help you with the transcriptions on my free time, that way it'll be faster. And, as you can see, we are talking about very delicate information… Lily, have you ever thought about the accident that killed your father? Was it common for him to suffer altercations on his way home? And isn't weird that your father died in mysterious circumstances and just happened to have this lying around?" He pointed to the chest._

" _Are you implying that my father was killed because of this?"_

" _I cannot be sure, though… But it wouldn't be strange. My father died in similar circumstances, an accident, days after he told his son about his theories." He sighed, his hand moved to her chin making her look at him in the eyes. "Lily, I cannot force to participate on this I also can't take this without your consent. I've never asked something like this from you but I have a feeling none of us really know how huge this could be… Lily, please…" He whispered, his eyes never leaving hers._

" _Fine… I will help you with this." She said after what felt like an eternity of silence. "I trust you, Erwin, and if you think this is the course we should follow, I'll be right behind you."_

* * *

Lily opened the door to her room at the same time she yawned. Her two roommates turned to look at her. Nifa had a small smile in her face while Nanaba had a worried frown in her face, they were both getting ready to sleep. She walked to her bed and began taking her uniform off. Nifa break the silence as she climbed into the bed above Nanaba's.

"So… How are you guys feeling for tomorrow?" Asked the girl as she settled under the covers and supported her head with her hand to look at her roommates.

"Honestly… Scared… I have a bad feeling." Confessed Nanaba, sitting in her own bed as she took her boots off.

"Well, I'd be worried if you told me you had a good feeling… We are going outside the walls, not taking a stroll." Said Lily turning to look at the blonde with a raised eyebrow before putting her nightgown over her head.

"I know that, Lils!" Answered Nanaba rolling her eyes. "But this time is different, we are going to try our this new formation… It's the first time we'll implement something like that, everything could go wrong for all I know." She crossed her eyes. Lily considered Nanaba her best friend, almost another sister, but she couldn't help but frown at her comments.

"Nanaba… You should not forget it was our Squad Leader to worked on that formation…" Nifa's soft voice seemed to have voiced Lily's thoughts.

"I know Squad Leader Erwin is a skilled man, I trust his abilities… But we cannot trust everything to go according to plan. We are talking about titans. What would happen to the formation if an abnormal titan attacked? There is no possible way, Erwin has all that covered." She explained.

"Well, we should definitely go to sleep now, we'll want to be well rested in case some abnormal breaks into our formation." Said Lily walking to the lamp that illuminated their room, Nifa hummed in agreement and let her head fall into the pillow while Nanaba finally got herself under the covers. Lily turned the light off and got in her bed.

Nifa was out like a light soon, Nanaba and Lily stayed awake for almost an hour more but none of them talked. They usually followed Nifa after a couple of minutes but with next day's expedition they could barely keep their eyes closed for too long until tiredness took them both.

* * *

They all waited already on their horses the crowd gathered around them. All they needed was for the Commander to give the order. Nifa and Lily were next to each other chatting and trying to calm each other down before finally going out when they were distracted by Hange's exited exclamations. From their positions, they both could watch as Moblit tried to calm her down unsuccessfully. There was no way someone could stop Hange when it came to titans.

"Open the gate!" Shadis orders brought them all back to reality. They all gripped the reins tightly in anticipation. "Today we take one more step forward! Show me what you learned in training! Teach them the power of the human race!" There were whispers all around them, many judging eyes were set on the troops. It was nothing surprising. Many of these people were not confident in the Survey Corps and made it very clear by calling them a waste of resources. But news travel fast and it was safe to assume all this people knew about the three newest additions to the corps. "All troops, advance!" With that, everyone almost automatically began moving forward.

Lily passed trough the gate and closed her eyes when she got to the other side, concentrating on the feeling of the wind in her face and hair, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. Outside the walls there were many things that could go wrong, that's way Lily thought it was really important to find balance… She needed to stay calm but at the same time alert. She found that doing this at the beginning of every expedition helped her, the wind and sun made her relax while the constant galloping of the horses kept her alert.

"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt your therapeutic session but you are going to need those two open if you want to spot any titans before it's to late." She turned to look at Nifa who had pulled her out of her thoughts and was smiling at her, clearly trying to ease the mood. Lily chuckled in response before they both turned to look at the front.

They traveled safely until they were passing the forest when they spotted a 15-meter titan coming out of it from between the trees and walking straight to them. There was no possible way for them to avoid it and their only option was to engage. Commander Shadis led the vanguard, where Erwin's squad was placed, to the titan and ordered for the rest of the troops to keep moving forward. As they were about to reach the titan, something moved beside them towards the formation, a 20-meter titan.

"Hange, Marcus, go back and help the rest of the troops, we'll take this one down." Ordered Erwin. They both turned back and the last they could hear before engaging with the other titans was Hange's exited scream about it being an abnormal.

Shadis, along with Erwin and other three soldiers, took it upon himself to act as bait, passing the titan and making it follow them into the forest. Mike and Lily immediately switched to maneuvering to pursue it while Nifa stayed behind and retrieved the horses. Mike went behind the creature who ran erratically making it really hard for him to maintain the balance and go for the nape. Lily decided to go around the titan and face it. The creature set its eyes on her and stopped pursuing the others. She was quicker and before it could grabbed her she launched to its face and buried the blades in its eyes. This bought Mike time to finally cut through the nape and take it down.

"Let's hurry back with the rest of the troops!" ordered Shadis turning back. They all did as they were told and went back.

As they got closer, it became evident that the other titan had not been taken down yet. This made the hurry even more to meet with the others. When they got closer, Mike was about to go towards the titan but was stopped by his squad leader. They all turned to look at him surprised but he wasn't paying attention to them.

As she looked back to the titan, pondering about disobeying Erwin's orders, Lily saw as someone shot themselves to the titan's lower back and cut into it with the blades, distracting it. Immediately, two more people went for its legs making it fall to the ground. The person on the lower back took this opportunity and cut the nape if the titan in a matter of seconds. She could not believe it as she managed to recognize the faces of the three ex-criminals from the underground. Once again, she turned to look the reaction of her Squad Leader who was doing nothing to hide the pleased smile on his face.

Lily half expected them to fail, no matter how skilled they were, she had seen skilled soldiers die on expeditions… The three of them without help from anyone else took down a 20-meter titan on their first expedition. That was impressive for someone without the proper training. She did not trust them, she did not want to trust them but she had to give it to Erwin, those three were really great assets to the corps.

* * *

They felt relieved once they arrived at the supply point. The sun would set soon and they would be safe for the night. They only suffered two casualties on their way, they all felt sorry for those two soldiers who gave their lives, but it could have been much worse.

"Well, at least it is not our turn to keep watch." Said Nanaba as they all left their stuff beside a wall. "We can rest at least a little bit." Nifa hummed in response.

"How did they become so good…?" whispered Hange pacing back and forth right in front of them. "Is there some kind of special training exercise or are they just naturals? No, that's impossible. They must have been practicing a lot… Although infrastructure of the Underground City would have limited their training specially in comparison with the surroundings outside the walls and the lack of trees and buildings when they fought the abnormal titan…" She kept mumbling with a hand on her chin as the rest of her squad stared at her as if she had grown a second head.

"Eerr… Miss Hange…" Began Moblit in an attempt to break her out of her trance.

"Oh, screw it! I'll just go ask them!" The brunette made her way to the trio excitedly, her cheeks blushing in anticipation. She was incapable of hearing her team's pleads to calm down and stay put. Finally, Marcus sighed, giving up on her case. Lily face-palmed while Nanaba and Nifa kept setting their stuff down.

Hange came back a few moments later visibly disappointed. Marcus and Moblit went to get their rations and once they all ate, they were ready to get some rest. Following the Commander's orders, all squads went over the new formation once more, they would finally implement it the next day. Once that was all done they finally settled down to get some rest.

Lily tossed and turned on the blankets she was given to sleep. She always found it hard to find rest while outside the walls. She turned and looked over at Nifa's sleeping face. Giving up, she sighed and got up. Maybe a little walk would finally tire her out.

She walked through the halls of the old castle, she was not the only one awake. It was not easy for everyone to sleep while being outside the walls. Sometimes, even the knowledge of the titans being unable to move during the nigh did nothing to comfort them. She kept walking lost in her thoughts when she heard someone moving behind her. She turned grabbing the blanket on her shoulders strongly. Levi stared at her expressionless as she sighed in relief.

"So… You can't sleep either?" She tried to break the uncomfortable that had formed between them in a matter of seconds.

"One would not think it'd be that easy to surprise a soldier from the Survey Corps… But seeing that we are talking about you, I guess I should have expected it…" His expression never changed. She rolled her eyes at his comment trying really hard not to be offended by it.

"Well, I think you'll find that I'm not the only one who would be surprised by someone sneaking up on them. Specially outside the walls… Everyone's on edge while we are out here." She answered crossing her arms over her chest. Levi chose to keep silent and after almost a minute, Lily no longer expected any kind of clever or acid answer from here. "I saw you three take down that titan earlier, it was really impressive…"

"Everyone's making a great deal out of that. Have you idiots never killed a titan before?"

"No everyone takes on a common titan on their first expedition and lives to tell it… You took down and abnormal titan. Their behavior is unpredictable and yet… You managed to do it." She did not try to hide her curiosity. Despite his apparent permanent bored mood and his snarky remarks, he intrigued her, a lot.

"I had to watch a man die to think of a way to beat it. Is that still impressive?" His tone of voice denoted he didn't care about the guy's life. He just wanted to know her answer.

"You are not the first one to make that sacrifice. Everyone here has seen someone die in a titan's grasp, we've come to accept it. If we can at least gain something from it, their deaths would not be in vain."

"Tch… You sound a lot like eyebrows." He mumbled. She tried hard to stiff a laugh at Erwin's new nickname. She certainly did not expect that of all things to come out of Levi's mouth.

"Well, he IS my squad leader." She could not help but smile. Maybe he wasn't that bad after all… "I think someone brought tea. Would you like some?" She offered making her way back.

"Are you planning on burning yourself again, shithead?" Forget about that… He truly was a bastard.


	10. Chapter 9

All right! First of all I want to clarify that just like the last chapter, this one's strongly based on the spin-off "No regrets.". That being said, a lot of the dialogues from this chapter are copied from the manga, of course there are some modifications here and there, but this chapter basically follows the events of the manga. Hope you enjoy it!

 **Chapter 9**

The sun shone brightly on Lily's face as she rode her horse. She could almost hear her and her comrade's hearts pounding. They were about to try the new formation, all they needed were Erwin's orders.

"All squads! Execute long distance scouting formation!" with this everyone dispersed to their designated positions.

Many squads were separated for the formation to work, Erwin's squad was one of these. Nifa, Marcus and Hange were sent to the back of the formation. Lily and Nanaba were kept on the front with the recon squads. Mike stayed at the command along with Erwin and the Commander.

It wasn't too long before the first red flare showed in the sky, then came another one, and other one after that one. They had changed course fourteen times but they also managed to avoid engaging with a titan. So far, everything seemed to be going as planned with the new formation.

"Lily, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" She turned to look at Nanaba who kept her eyes on the sky. She did the same and discovered dark clouds coming directly to them.

"Storm clouds… They're heading right to us. There is no way to go around it, we already changed out course too much, it'll take ages for us to get to the next supply point." As she voiced her thoughts, drops of water began to fall on her face and hair. The more she went on, the harder the rain poured. She heard what she thought was Nanaba's voice but could not catch any of the words. Turning to look at the blond she found that nothing could be seen beside her, the rain made it impossible to find her friend. "Nanaba?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Lily!" The sound was still muffled by the rain but she could hear it come from behind. She turned and finally the shape of a horse became recognizable as Nanaba rode up to meet her. She had fallen behind while looking for Lily. They were soon riding closely next to each other. It was hard to make out their faces but at least they kept each other calm. "It's impossible to see anything with this storm. A titan could jump on us any minute now!"

"Hey, what are you two doing? Don't break the formation!" Ordered a voice behind them.

"Squad Leader Johan, our visibility is compromised. If we keep the formation we'll probably lose each other. We have better chances if we stay together." Explained Lily as she kept riding.

"We'll wait for our orders. Dekker! Shoot a black flare, we'll wait for the answer. Meanwhile, keep the formation." Lily nodded and shot the flare to the sky. Her eyes widened when the rain dispersed the smoke, it didn't even reach a good height before it disappeared.

"It's useless, no one will see it!" Exclaimed Nanaba. "Don't you see? It is impossible for them to send a flare to disband the formation, no one will see it. And they can't send someone by horse either because it'd be too dangerous. We're stuck like this, if we go back to the formation it'd be easy to lose track of each other. We need to stay together."

"Fine… You two keep going forward. Do not change course unless it's a life or death situation. I'll go look for the other members of the recon squad." They both nodded and kept going forward.

None of them dared to talk just in case there was something else they needed to hear. They turned to look at each other often even if they could barely see the other's silhouette, that way they'd know they were still safe. Both their minds traveled to rest of their squad and friends, hoping that they'd be okay. They had kept moving forward as ordered but they had also lowered their speed in case Squad Leader Johan tried to catch up with them, but they were losing their hopes about that. It had been a good half hour since he left.

"W-wait please! I need help!" They both turned in the direction of the noise. Nanaba had grabbed her blades by instinct. They could see the shape of a horse getting closer to them. They decided to go even slower to see the person sooner. It was a girl, Clair was her name, from the medic squad. "Titans… Lots of them." She said her breathing uneven, this made all three of them stop on their horses. "They came from the right, we did not see them in time." Her voice was shaking, she seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack. "They slaughtered everyone around us, Squad Leader Johan told me where you two were. He told me to look for help…"

"How long did it take you to get here?" Asked Lily, her knuckles were aching from the tight grip she had on the reins. With a storm like this one it wasn't unexpected for someone to suffer this kind of casualties, but a horde of titans breaking through an entire formation and eliminating a complete squad… No one was trained for that kind of fight, if there was someone else alive back there, they would need all the help they could get.

"Fifteen minutes…" She whispered. "But you don't understand! It's impossible to fight them like this! They just grabbed my teammates… They were right next to me and I could not see them!" She was crying desperately. "That's a suicide mission, no one would ever survive that. Our only chance is to keep moving as far as we can!"

"We cannot do that, there must be someone still alive back there!" Protested Lily once more.

"Lily, sometimes it takes more than three soldiers to take down one titan… We're talking about many of them right now and we cannot fight in these conditions!" Argued Nanaba. "She's right, it would be a suicide mission."

"Then what do we do? Wait for them to get to us? Or even better, we keep going until another titan comes right to us. Nanaba, there is no safe place in here. We are in as much danger right here than we'll be back there."

"Fine, we'll go. But first, Squad Leader Erwin and Commander Shadis should be close behind us. We need to meet with them and tell them about the situation." Said Nanaba, already turning back. "Once we've done that, if the Commander approves of it, we'll go look for the titans."

"No! You can't make go back in there!" Cried Clair.

"As I said, you can either come with us or stay here waiting for another titan to come. If we move together we have a better chance of survival." Said Lily, her voice calming but firm at the same time although there was a little shake in it from the nervousness. Clair swallowed hard but finally nodded in agreement.

As they rode, they went as fast as they could, the sooner they would get to the command squad, the better. The rain made it impossible for them to see each other but the faint noise of the horses signaled them that the were still close. Clearly they were going much faster than they should have, all the mud made the ground slippery and the amount of rain had also made it uneven.

Nanaba kept her eyes on the "road" ahead even though she could barely make out any of the forms on her way. She narrowed her eyes in hopes of distinguishing something aside of the fog around her but the truth was that she could barely see the horse's head. Suddenly, a shriek came to her ears followed by the sound of something falling in the water. She abruptly stopped her horse and turned to look back only to find herself almost trampled by Clair's horse as she had gotten scared and flew. She could not find Lily anywhere, she screamed her name twice not receiving an answer twice. A metallic taste on her mouth told her she had been biting her lower lip in distress. She went to find Lily when Clair's shriek of fear got her attention. She trusted Lily, or at least that's what she told herself, but there was clearly a difference from her and a member of the medic squad. Shutting her eyes closed, she turned to the direction of Clair's scream and began riding that way.

* * *

She tried to breath and take air into her lungs but the pressure on her stomach prevented her from doing it. Everything around her was slippery and she could feel her hair and face caked in mud as rain still poured over her. When her horse had slipped, it had fallen back and landed on top of her. The poor animal was so scared he tried to flee but the mud made it slip again and again, hitting Lily every time it tried to escape.

"Sssh, sssh…" She whispered trying to calm the horse, caressing its mud-covered hair. "That's okay, I'm right here… Everything is going to be fine…" She kept whispering. She felt a little bit of pressure leave her body and she breathed relieved. Slowly she wiggled out from under the horse. Her back and right shoulder hurt but she didn't seem to have any mortal injuries. Whispering while getting closer to horse, she got closer to it and tried to help it get up. It slipped a couple of times but finally they were back in the game. She looked at her surroundings. Being with Nanaba was one thing but now that she was alone, she could not help but feel the panic creeping up on her. She mounted her horse and began her course to find her or anyone who could help her. The only sound she could hear was the sound of her heart beating against her chest, the rain didn't even seem that strong at the moment.

She rode with a lump on her throat and a clenching feeling on her chest. She just hoped for everyone to made it back alive even when she knew it was impossible. Finally, she managed to recognize some shapes and thought them to be close but then she realized they weren't… They were titans… Had she passed the command squad on her way? The titans were not moving around too much which meant there was someone there fighting them or they'd be looking for preys. Swallowing her fears, she decided to do what she had originally planned to do and made her way as fast as she could to the shapes.

A quick look in the ground told her she was going in the right direction: there were footprints, multiple sets. She managed to count three before looking ahead of her once again. She was getting there and the sounds that now reached her ears were the screams of humans. She saw four titans in front of her one of them had bitten other one on the back making it fall, that left it out of combat for a few minutes, she could concentrate in the others. She saw a soldier trying to fight one but for some reason he was not using his 3DMG…

"It must have malfunctioned…" She whispered as she prepared herself to jump off her horse to get to him.

Suddenly a big hand hit her horse making her fall once again to the ground, this time she managed to take the fall and get on her feet quickly enough to see a big grin and a set of giant eyes starring at her. Adrenaline shot through her body as she launched herself against the 10-meter titan. She went around it with the gear being pursued my its giant hands. She knew that getting too close to its face would get her eaten in a matter of seconds. She managed to cut its hand off when it was about to grab her, this gave her a little bit of time. She finally got behind it and climbed its back, going directly for the nape making a clean cut and taking it down once and for all.

She turned to look to where the solider was standing before, now all she could see was the back of a titan while it moved its arms up to his mouth. She immediately shot herself to get it, praying to make it on time. Suddenly, someone launched in front of the titan and cut its hand off. Her blue eyes widened in surprise as the person not only cut its hand off but also made a deep cut on its belly and took out something from there. She stopped midway without realizing and kept her eyes locked on the person.

Her eyes widened in surprise when she recognized Levi leaving the upper half of Farlan's body in the ground next to him. A weird mix of fear and nausea invaded her, she had never seen someone been pulled out of a titan after been swallowed. She tried to come back to her senses, there was no way he'd be able to defeat the other four titans preying on him, but, once again, he was much faster.

She didn't even see him when he dodged a titan's hand and went for its eyes to blind it! But all her resolve to help him was gone when she saw him jump straight to another titan's nape making the fastest cut she had ever seen. Her body shook in fear upon hearing his raged screams as he immediately cut the third titan's nape. He had killed two titans and neutralized one in a matter of seconds. The fourth titan's hand went to grab him but, as if he had sensed it from afar, he jumped on it and made his way to the nape.

By that time, the storm had already passed and only a few drops of water were still falling from the sky, but Lily didn't realize about that. She was frozen in both fear and amazement as Levi approached the last titan, the one he had blinded before, the one who had eaten Farlan. Using the 3DMG, he stood on its back, right below the nape. He stayed there for almost a minute, as if he was talking to the titan. Suddenly, he cut its nape cleanly and got off it as it fell to the ground.

Lily clenched her fists on her mud-caked jacket and stayed put as if shielding herself. In any other circumstances, a soldier beating four titans by him or herself would have been impressive and matter of celebration… But the way he did it… It was just unnatural! There was something off with that guy and Lily had never been this scared of someone in her entire life.

"Lily!" Someone screamed to her right. She turned in the direction of the sound and found herself soon pulled up the ground and embraced in Nanaba's arms. The blonde was not an emotional person so this was really a surprise… But Lily couldn't bring herself to be happy about it, she was still shaking.

"Hey! Are there any survivors?" Asked Erwin's voice a bit further away. Nana released Lily and they both moved towards their Squad Leader, although Lily was technically being pulled. "Levi!" Called Erwin once again, this time he got the man's attention and as he tensed his shoulders Lily fought the impulse to hide behind Nanaba. "Are you the only who managed to make it out alive? These titan remains… Did you kill them all by yours.." Levi had quickly attacked him wrapping his arm around Erwin's neck and making him fall off the horse.

Lily's blood boiled and, as if all her fears disappeared in a matter of seconds, she launched herself against the raven-haired man and managed to punch him in the face, taking him by surprise and making him fall back a few steps. She thought she heard someone scream her name and that made her go back to reality. Levi's wand wrapped itself around her neck and lifted her off the ground. She instinctively grabbed it with both her hands and kicked around as no more air passed through her throat. Suddenly, she was thrown a few meters away. She hit her head but her lungs welcomed the air as she was finally able to breath. Nanaba was by her side soon as she stroked her aching neck.

Mike had tried to confront Levi after he had thrown Lily away but was stopped by Levi's blades in front of his face. He had no other option but to stay put hoping for Levi to lower his guard.

"Erwin… I'm going to fucking kill you. That's the only reason why I'm still here." His other blade moved right next to Erwin's head and over his shoulder as he recovered from the fall.

"Your friends…" Mentioned Erwin as he turned to look at Levi with and impassive look on his face. "They must have died. I see…" He slowly moved his hand to the inside of his jacket and pulled out a little envelope. "These are the documents concerning Nicholas Lovoff." Levi's eyes widened in surprise for the first time.

"You bastard… You knew?" His tone revealed hate and resentment as Erwin threw the envelope to the ground next to him, making its contents come out.

"I'm sorry that I took so long…" He said as he slowly began to get up.

"Just what the hell are you trying to do?" Asked Levi through clenched teeth as he pressed the blades slightly to Erwin's neck, making a shallow cut.

"It was a bluff." Said the blonde ignoring Levi's last question. "I knew that Lovoff was embezzling funds, using what was left from out suspended expeditions over the past several years… I wanted definitive proof, enough to convict him, so I had spread false information about him." He explained. "Lovoff is a vigilant man. So I figured he would try to do something in order to confirm the existence of the documents first. Sure enough he approached the three of you with the request… Making a move would surely leave a trace behind, so it didn't take long for me to follow the trail and get my hands on the evidence. The more he acted on his own, the more I was able to gather the evidence I needed."

"If you knew all that… Why did you make us join the Survey Corps?" Asked Levi, his glare full of hate towards the man kneeling in front of him.

"For one, your fighting skill are truly outstanding. The other reason is because I wanted to use you, the ones Lovoff made a deal with, in order to throw him off." His voice was still as emotionless as his expression. "But none of it matters anymore… The real documents are now in possession of Supreme Commander Zacklay. It's all over for Lovoff."

"My friends…" whispered Levi. "They threw their lives away for nothing… You dragged them into your worthless schemes. Bur now I'm gonna drag you down too!" Levi's blade moved and blood fell to the ground.

"Worthless schemes?" Erwin asked while he held the blade with his left hand feeling it cut through his palm. "Who was it? Who killed my subordinates, your friends? Was it me? Or was it you?" Levi did not move an inch while Erwin slowly pushed the blade away from him still gripping it tightly. "Even if you had gone together to ambush me, do you really think they would've survived unharmed?"

"You're right…" Agreed Levi in a much lower voice. "My arrogance… My own shitty fucking pride…"

"No, you're wrong!" screamed Erwin at the top of his lungs. "It's the titans!" He said getting up from the ground to see Levi's face directly. "Where did the titans come from? Why do they exist? Why do they devour humans?" As he kept asking question after question, Levi didn't move he didn't try to attack him anymore. "I don't have answers. None of us do! Limited by our ignorance, we'll continue to be devoured by the titans! If we just stay shut behind the walls, we are never going to escape this nightmare." His right hand pointed behind him enthusiastically. "Take a look around you! No matter how far you go, there aren't any walls here, in this wide open space… I believe there is something there illuminating out despair. But there are those who try to prevent us from venturing beyond the walls. They are consumed by selfish thoughts of their own losses and gains from behind the walls where it's safe! It's only natural. During the past one hundred years, hindered by the walls, the eyes of humanity have been clouded. They cannot see the landscape that lies on the other side." Suddenly he stood up completely ans was now towering over Levi. "But what about you, Levi? Will you let your eyes remain clouded? Will you kill me and return to the darkness of the underground?" His hand was not longer holding the blade but rather resting on it. "We will not give up our journey outside of the walls… So fight for the Survey Corps, Levi! Humanity needs your strength!" There was almost minute of complete silence until Erwin broke it once again, now much calmly. "I'm not making a deal with you this time…"

"Squad Leader, we should bring the dry noise rounds back to the supply squad." Said Nanaba after she helped Lily onto her horse.

"Yes, we will regroup from there." Confirmed the blond.

"It's no longer raining but it's still pretty cloudy… When the weather improves, the titans are probably going to become active again." Noted Mike.

"Then we need to join the Commander in the vanguard, before we suffer anymore losses. We will make it back alive."

Beside her, Lily noticed Levi mounting another horse. Her right hand traveled to her neck by instinct. She didn't need to see it, she knew it was bruised. In fact, she was lucky she had not been his objective, he would've probably snapped her neck back there… She took a brief glance at him only two find him looking back, steam was still coming from the titan's bodies… She frowned. This time, there was no possible way she could trust Erwin. He had not seen it, but she had. That man was not normal…

She never thought the day would come in which she'd be more afraid of a human than a titan… That day, she was proved wrong.


	11. Chapter 10

Finally! After so long I've finally finished the chapter… Please forgive me, I'm a mess when it comes to organizing my time. Still, I hope you enjoy it and I'll try to upload as soon as possible but then again, no promises. Enjoy!

 **Chapter 10**

The expedition lasted a week, all the casualties they suffered during the storm caused Erwin to rethink the formation when they reached the second supply point. Of course, that also meant they had to learn it in a night. Thankfully, the rest of the expedition went relatively well. Compared to the second day of the expedition, the losses they suffered later on were much less painful, everyone seemed to be thinking a collective "it could have been worst". The formation worked almost perfectly for the rest of the week.

Now that they were back inside the walls, the silence was heavy in the headquarters. No one really seemed to have noticed how many lives were sacrificed until they got back to see the empty beds and the amount of condolences sent to families in the form of letters. Many squad leaders were busy writing letters and delivering some things to the families of their diseased subordinates. Even the Commander had to do some of this work, they had lost both Squad Leader Johan and Squad Leader Flagon.

Lily was settling on her bedroom along with Nanaba and Nifa… To think the three of them made it back alive… Considering the devastation caused by the five titans it was truly surprising. She could not help but think that some day one of them was not going to come back and the other two would have to face and empty bed at night… That was terrifying… They all saw Corin, one of Isabel's roommates, cry and mourn over the girl's death and she had barely a month of knowing her. Forming bonds was dangerous but they were all human, despite what many others may think, they couldn't help but get closer to each other.

As she sighed, still lost in her thoughts, she turned to look at the mirror they shared. Moving her hair out of the way, she lifted her chin to get a good look at her neck. Well, the bruise was fading, that was good. Chills went through her whole body when she remembered Levi's hand chocking her. Never in her life had she been so scared, they way his eyes showed no sign of reason, the way his grip seemed to be effortless for him and almost mortal for her…

"Tch, that bastard…" whispered Nanaba after taking a look at Lily. "He could have killed you and it's like Erwin doesn't even care!" She complained, her arms crossed over her chest.

"You know the Squad Leader will not let his actions go unpunished… I'm sure he'll take the matters into his hands as soon as he can, but right now everyone's busy." Nifa used her "calming voice" clearly trying to appease the blonde's anger.

"Still… His whole plan was to come here and kill Erwin, which he almost does, he also threatened Mike with the blades and almost choked Lily to death! A guy like that should not even be given the chance to be a part of the corps!"

"Squad Leader Erwin seems to think otherwise… Besides, he gave up to try and kill Erwin even when he had his guard down, and Lily's here, still alive." Lily bit her lip at Nifa's comment. She had not told anyone about her newfound fear of Levi. She had kept it to herself and had no desire to do otherwise, so no matter how much her heart clenches when they talk about him, she'd not say anything… Besides, Erwin assured her that his actions would not go unpunished so at least he'd get what he deserves.

"Well, she should go and have dinner. I don't know about you but I'll need my energy for tomorrow." She said trying to cheer herself and her friends up. The next day she was going to visit her mother and even if was just staying one night with her, sometimes she really drained her of all energy.

On their way, they found Markus and Moblit had had the same idea as them. They all grabbed their food and while they were looking for a table a hand shot up in the air and began calling for them. Hange and Mike were already on a table. They all sat down and ate in silence. It was weird for the dining room to be so silent but it was understandable, everyone must have been physically and mentally exhausted. After a while, they were joined by they're squad leader who sat next to Mike. He felt all his squad's eyes set on them and sighed.

"Whatever you want to ask… Go ahead." He said, giving his permission before taking a spoonful of food to his mouth.

"What is the Commander planning to do in this situation? I mean, we lost two squad leaders…" Asked Markus.

"Well, we haven't discussed any of that, but my guess is that he'll have someone else be named as Squad Leader. Probably, for now, it'll be just one person considering the amount of soldiers we lost on the expedition but we'll have to wait and see." He thought it'd be better to tell them but he'd rather doing it sooner than later. "And… Seeing that we lost Squad Leader Flagon on our last expedition… Cadet Levi is going to be transferred to this squad." The news were met with complete silence.

Nanaba's frown was evident, Markus and Nifa both showed their shocked faces, Hange was trying too hard to contain her excitement while Moblit kept an eye on her, Mike remained calm, if the news surprised him, he didn't show it. Lily's face had gone a bit pale and she felt her stomach clench, rejecting the rest of the food in her plate.

"Excuse me, I need to go and prepare everything for tomorrow. You guys enjoy the rest of your meal." She excused herself trying to keep her voice from trembling. She gave them no time to answer and left as quickly as she thought she could without rising suspicions.

As she walked to her room, she hoped that the time she'd spend with her mother would distract her from her recent thoughts.

* * *

Two days went by too fast… Before she realized, she was already saying goodbye to her mom and heading back to the headquarters… She expected to take her mind off everything that had happened in the expedition but, with her luck, that was all her mother wanted to talk about during her visit…

News traveled really fast inside the walls, it hadn't been too long before Evangeline realized her daughter was working with three criminals from the underground. She had drowned her with questions that tormented Lily's mind for the whole two days. For the sake of her mother, she had decided to leave Levi's attempted murder out of her answers.

As she rode back, she couldn't help but feel the urge to turn back… This was immediately followed by anger and frustration… Why was she so scared? She was acting like a child! Every time she tried to convince herself to calm down, flashes of the expedition came to her mind… The way he had taken down those titans as if they were nothing, the speed he moved with that made it difficult for anyone to follow… The way she felt like her life was leaving after his hands gripped her neck just by a few seconds. All those memories made her face drain of all color.

Still, deep down she knew that running away was not an option… She had reasons to be there and her resolve would not be crushed by one single man. Except in her mind, that wasn't a man. For her, Levi was a monster. Everything about him just seemed so unnatural.

When she arrived at the headquarters, she shivered… She left the horse in the stables and fed it. She was dreading entering the main building but she didn't have much of a choice. Crossing the doors with her suitcase in her hands, she noticed the lack of people. Come to think of it, dinner was probably being served at the moment. Taking advantage of this, she moved through the halls quickly to avoid encountering anyone when suddenly a scream almost made her faint.

"Lils!" Screamed Hange hugging her. Lily's heart was beating uncontrollably as she tried to calm herself down. "Hey! How did it go? Did you bring back some of those delicious sweets?" Continued to interrogate her the brunette before noticing her paling face and rapid breathing. "Hey, Lily, are you feeling well?" she asked putting a hand on her friend's forehead.

"Y-yeah! I'm fine… I'm just a little tired, that's all." Said Lily finally calming down a little bit.

"Well, come eat with us and then you can go and get some sleep. I'm sure the rest of the squad would want to see you." She tried to pull Lily's arm, but she resisted.

"I'm not really hungry, Hange… It'll be fine, I'll see you all tomorrow at breakfast." Hange was about to protest when Lily interrupted her once more. "By the way, do you know if Erwin's in his office?" She asked.

"Yeah, I come from handing him a report. You should hurry, he'd probably come down to eat soon."

"Thanks, see you tomorrow!" She waved at Hange before going her own way, towards Erwin's office.

When she was just around the corner, a silhouette at the other end of the hallway made her stop on her tracks. Levi was moving in her direction with a slow pace, not really paying attention to anything.

Lily had to breath deeply a couple of times while repeating a mantra in her mind: "He's just a man. He's just a man. He's just a man." She almost shrieked when he finally appeared to have noticed her, his gray bored eyes meeting with her blue scared ones. She lowered her gaze to the floor and kept walking almost trembling when they passed each other.

She finally got to Erwin's door and waited until Levi was out of view before knocking.

"Come in." Called her Squad Leader's voice inside. She entered quickly and closed the door fighting the urge to lean on it and breath normally.

"Lily, you are back already… Is everything okay?" He asked, she shook her head rapidly trying to get out of her trance.

"Yes, there's no problem… I just… I thought we could work a little bit on the chest, that is if you are not too busy." She tried to put on a smile but failed miserably.

"We could but you really seem like you need some rest… Are you sure you are feeling well?" He walked up to her, a worried frown on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just… May I ask you something?" Erwin arched an eyebrow at her question before nodding. "I know it is not really something I should care about but… What's going to happen to the new recruit? I mean, I know he'll be joining the squad but…" She asked while keeping her hands behind her back.

"That's fine, I think I know what you mean and you are not the first one to ask me that." He said with a reassuring smile. "If you want to know if he'll be punished, of course he will. His actions cannot be ignored. He'll be cleaning the stables for the next three weeks."

"What? Three weeks of cleaning duty for attempted murder? Forgive me but that doesn't sound fair!" Exclaimed Lily, unable to control her anger.

"Well, he already spent three nights in confinement. There's no much else I can do."

"Of course there is! He held a blade to your neck. You have wounds and witnesses to prove it!" She could feel all her control fleeing away from her. She received a frown from her superior.

"That would get all of us more trouble than necessary. Besides, there would be a chance of him being arrested by the MP and that would not do."

"What do you mean by that? He's a criminal! He does not belong here, he should be imprisoned!" She stopped once Erwin's cold gaze fell on her.

"Lily I thought you understood why I am so adamant about keeping him here… I was hoping I wouldn't need to get to this but seeing your reaction, I guess I have no other option. Lily, I must ask you not to tell anyone about the events occurred in the last expedition regarding Cadet Levi… He agreed not to speak of it and so did Mike and Nanaba." His eyes were cold towards her and his expression declared that there would be no place for objections. Still, Levi feared Levi more than she feared Erwin…

"So what? I'll just have to wait until he decides to attack someone again? Am I supposed to just ignore what happened and go on with my life when there's a murderer just around the corner?"

"Assuming he'd decide to attack someone else, which I'm sure he will not, yes. Lily, I'm asking you as a friend and ordering you as your superior… Do not talk about what happened. And if you truly are that determined to get him caught to go against my request… Then you should begin considering the MP's offer." Lily's eyes widened at this. Erwin had turned his back to her as he said this. In his eyes, she had less value as a soldier than a criminal from the underground…

"Yes, sir…" She finished, unable to keep the hurt from her voice. She turned swiftly and left, slamming the door behind her.

Erwin sighed and closed his eyes. He had not seen the pain in her eyes but the crack on her voice had given her out. Maybe he was too harsh.

* * *

Lily made her way to the basement, at least she knew she'd be able to be by herself in there. Ever since her first time outside the walls, she had felt like Erwin would keep her safe. She felt like everything would be fine if she followed him. When she had told him about the chest and he asked for her help, she felt important, like someone needed her… Now it turns out she was never that important to begin with.

She sat against one of the walls as she pulled something out of her jacket, the small journal she had been transcribing everything onto. She opened to the page she had marked and began reading once again seeking to take her mind off of what just happened. She had been absorbed by it since the first time she read it, Erwin had not given it much importance but she couldn't help but wanting to know more…

 _Year 770:_

 _With my father's death it has fallen onto me to carry on with the duties of my family. Due to my grandmother's schemes, the Ackerman's are gone, scattered inside the walls. My mother says I have no other option, she says she's doing whatever she can to protect me but everything has proven useless. It's been confirmed, my wedding will take place throughout the year. Alfonse is looking for way to delay everything but nothing seems to be working. If only I was not an only child… If only I was born a man… I wouldn't have to go through this… I'm sorry father, I will not be the one to liberate the family._

 _Viveka Schiff_

Lily sighed as her eyes left the paper. When she first read it, she thought she had taken an old romance novel by mistake… But then she found more…

 _Year 771:_

 _Tomorrow is my wedding day… Alfonse managed to delay it by going "hunting" for the Ackerman's… Still, he had to come back someday. He has been back for a week and my mother has cried everyday since. She even tried to convince me of fleeing but all the others who have left are being chased down relentlessly, I cannot live that way. But why him? The King says it's just because we need to strengthen our blood line, but making me marry my uncle? I truly wish there was any other way to please the King but I'll walk down the aisle holding my head up high, for my family._

 _Viveka Schiff_

Those were the only pieces she had managed to take with her before her days off… Whoever Viveka Schiff was, assuming she was Adler's daughter, she found her writing much more intriguing than her father's… Until now, most of the entries were written by Alder Schiff who always seemed to hide something. So far, he had not written anything they could use. But Viveka's writing was different and Lily felt drown to them like a moth to the light…

Erwin kept the chest in his office so, if she wanted to know more about Viveka, she needed to ask him to return it… Wait? Why did she have to ask? It was hers after all…

Taking a deep breath she got up and made her way back to Erwin's office. She knocked on the door after gathering all her courage and waited for his response. After hearing his signature "come in" she saluted him wordlessly and stood in front of him without moving.

"Lily, what can I do for you?" Curiosity was clear in his eyes as he sat the documents he had been holding back on the desk.

"If it is not too much trouble, I need the chest my father left me, it's urgent." She said coldly. She was set on not giving him any explanations, the chest was hers, he had no right over it. His eyes shot up to hers an alarmed glim in them.

"May I ask why?" His voice got even colder than hers as if they were trying to see who would give up sooner.

"I'm sorry, you may not. I'm afraid it's a personal business." She answered making Erwin's frown evident on his face. Having decide not to taint her luck she clarified. "I made a promise to you and I would never go back on that, no matter how poorly I feel treated. I just need to look for some specific notes to advance the transcription further. I can take them with me and you'd still have the rest of the chest… After all, it is mine."

Sighing, Erwin signaled for her to grab the chest from his bookcase. She stood there going through the notes for nearly fifteen minutes. No words were spoken until she had gotten everything she needed. After a brief "thank you", she left his office once again.

* * *

He may have not even known her for long but he'd recognize that look anywhere… It was fear, her gaze was filled with fear… People had looked at him that way multiple times in the underground.

Flashbacks ran through his mind of the time he had grabbed her by the neck, how all determination had seemed to leave her eyes to be replaced with panic… He couldn't say he wasn't surprised, maybe he had gone too far but he had been furious and she had also packed a good punch to his jaw. Still, he couldn't care less. He had seen them all, all in Erwin's squad… They were all out of their fucking minds, that crazy four-eyed beast who wouldn't shut up, the weird blond man who kept sniffing him… And now the terrified puppy…

Screw them… He really didn't care about who he had to work with in order to avenge Farlan and Isabel. If Erwin's lap dog could not deal with it, well, that'd be her problem…


	12. Chapter 11

Hello you guys! Yes, I know it's been a long time since I've updated but believe me, I'm having a really hard time writing, especially writing Levi! This is a par of his life we almost have no knowledge about and I'm really trying to stay truth to the characters personality. That being said, there might be a little bit of OOC behavior, especially on Erwin's part. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I'll try to be back with more as soon as possible!

 **Chapter 11**

It had been a week since she came back to the headquarters, a week since her argument with Erwin. She had been avoiding him and only accepted to talk to him during training or squad meetings. She even been making excuses to delay their work on the chest. It was petty, yes, but it was the only way she could get a little bit of revenge without dragging herself down.

It was sunny out and they were all waiting for their squad leader. Erwin had given them orders to wait for him in the training grounds. Hange was pestering Marcus about his new girlfriend, the girl he had encountered at the bar a couple of months ago, while Moblit tried to defend to poor guy. Mike and Nanaba were leaning in one of the training ground's fences, both of them had relaxed faces expect for the occasional glare of the woman towards Levi who was a few meters away from the others, leaning against a tree. As expected, Lily on the ground as far away as she could from the grey-eyed man. Nina sat with her back to back as she distractedly pulled the grass from beneath them.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting" Said their leader's voice. They immediately saluted him, all except for Levi who was walking towards the group. "We have a lot to discuss so I'll try to be as direct as possible." He signaled them to sit on the ground once again and began explaining the situation. "We are planning in having another expedition in a month, although it could take more than that to convince the higher-ups to give us the necessary budget so I'd say two months from now would be more accurate."

"Isn't it too soon for another expedition, the corps aren't well organized yet and we've lost too many people! Besides, there's some people who still haven't healed completely." Asked Moblit confused.

"That's right but this expedition will be different" he said pulling out a map. "Only a small part of the corps will participate in this expedition, we are talking thirty people top. We'll only reach the first supply point, it needs to be re-stocked, also we need to evaluate the damage caused by the storm. As you can see, it's quite simple, it should not last more than three days." He then sighed. "But then again, this mission has a peculiarity… As you clearly noticed, we've lost two squad leaders in the last expedition and we are in need of someone to take over their duties. That's why, Mike, starting tomorrow and up until after the expedition, you will be leading a small squad. Depending on how you perform, you may be filling in the position." He announced.

Mike was usually a very calm and collected guy so seeing his surprised, disbelieving face was truly something else. Suddenly, Hange's enthusiastic scream and hug pulled him out of his thoughts and, then again, surprised everyone. Despite his weird obsession with smelling others he was not really keen on touching them… Well, of course Nanaba was the exception to the rule.

Moblit ended up pulling Hange away from a still very confused Mike while Nifa and Marcus congratulated him.

"This is great! We should totally celebrate!" Expressed Hange with her usual energic antics.

"Wow, not so fast!" Exclaimed Nifa. "We still don't know if it'll be for sure. I'm sure you'll do great Mike but we shouldn't celebrate too early."

"Nifa has a point… There's other two cadets to be tested in the next expedition so I recommend you take this seriously, Mike. Starting tomorrow, you need to make the best of the squad you'll have. They'll probably allow you to pick one or two of your companions so think it over tonight." Said Erwin. "For now, this will be the last time you'll be training with this squad for at least two months so make the best out of it. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir!" Exclaimed Mike once again while saluting him receiving a pat on the back by his friend and Squad Leader.

"All right then, everyone. We'll begin with some hand to hand combat so pair up. Mike, you're with me. There's still something else I'll like to discuss."

* * *

The next day, Lily stood along with her squad waiting for the Commander to make the announcement. There was an empty spot in which Mike would usually stand.

"Lily… Are you okay? You've been very quiet lately…" Whispered Nifa taking advantage of the rest of the team being distracted. "Is everything fine?" Lily turned to look at her friend who looked at her with a little worry on her eyes.

"Yeah… This last expedition was a bit harsh on me." She said, giving her friend a small smile. "I just need some time to think everything over, I'll try to be back on my feet as soon as I can." Nifa seemed about to object when the Commander attracted everyone's attention.

"Attention!" He exclaimed making every soldier around him shut their mouths and perform the salute. "As you all know, last expedition took a toll on us and we lost two Squad Leaders along with many valuable members of the corps… As a result, we need someone to fill the position, we need someone to lead a squad." Explained the man gesturing to the three people behind him. "Mike Zacharias, Elise Rose and Eric Rogers will be tested in the up-coming expedition in order to decide who'd be a better pick for the position." All three of them moved forward as Shadis called their names. Beside Lily, Nanaba gave a grunt and rolled her eyes and it was easy to see why; she had always hated Rogers… Well, who wouldn't? The guy was an asshole. "The three of them will be leading a small squad each in the next expedition, four other soldiers beside themselves. As a small consideration, they were allowed to pick two of the soldiers they'd want in their squad so, once this meeting is over they'll approach the squad leaders of their respective picks, is that clear?" Everyone gave an affirmative response. "Not everyone is going to participate in this expedition, if you are expected to participate your Squad leaders will provide the information." With a hand gesture they were dismissed.

"I can't believe they're going to give that asshole the chance of becoming a Squad Leader." Said Nanaba crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're just saying that because you want Mike to get the position." Muttered Marcus earning a glare from the blonde. "But yeah, you're right… That guy is awful." They kept talking for a while until both Erwin and Mike approached them.

"So, are you feeling up to it, Mike?" Asked Hange patting him in the back.

"Well, I still need to prepare but I think I can do a decent job." Answered Mike, a little smirk on his face. "Actually, I was hoping to ask you… Nanaba, Marcus, would you be part of my squad for this expedition?" He asked looking at his companions.

"Of course!" Exclaimed Nanaba without thinking. "Well, if Squad Leader Erwin is fine with it, of course…" She said in a lower voice.

"We already discussed it, it's up to you to accept." Said Erwin, a small smile gracing his lips.

"We'll be there, man. After all, you'll need people you can trust out there." Marcus looked pretty happy at the prospect of being picked.

Sadly for them, their happiness didn't last much…

"Hey, Erwin!" Exclaimed a voice behind them. Nanaba and Hange groaned at the recognition of Rogers' voice, earning a pointed stare from Erwin that told them to behave. "Hey, what's up?" He didn't let the blond respond. "Look, thinking about the expedition and all, I really think I could use some muscle. Mind if I borrow your two guys over there?" He asked pointing at Marcus and Levi.

"I'm sorry to inform you that Mike already asked Marcus to accompany him. And Cadet Levi is still not used to our routine, given his circumstances I expect you to understand why I can't let him go on an expedition without being supervised." Levi didn't react to this. He didn't like feeling like they were babysitting him but he already didn't like Rogers.

"Well, he would be supervised, by me. And you are going in this expedition too, it's not like you won't know if something happens." Rogers insisted. Lily rolled her eyes at this. He really was a pain in the ass, couldn't he learn to take no for an answer.

"That would imply me doing part of your job which I don't think would look favorable in your results. I suggest you find better picks for your squad, remember that you only get two." Erwin seemed serious about this. Still, Rogers would not give up.

"C'mon! I think he could do with some more practice. You'll get nothing out of him if you keep him cupped up in here. What do you think, man? You want to be part of my squad?" He asked looking at Levi this time.

"I don't care. But I won't go against this guy's orders, get that around your head." Levi answered, his head gesturing towards Erwin.

"Well, why don't you think it over. You can tell me tomorrow." He said still refusing to leave them alone. "And well, to bad about Marcus but I'm sure that can be arranged. It would be great if you'd let me borrow Dekker instead." Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes. She couldn't stand this guy, how was she supposed to take orders from him?

"You seem to be on a row, Rogers. Cadet Dekker is not eligible for this expedition, she won't be participating in it."

"I'm sorry?" Lily asked, her brow furrowed. Erwin gave her pointed look, silently asking her to keep her mouth shut. Still, it was too late. Rogers had already noticed Lily's displeased look and the confusion in her eyes.

"Wow, one would think she'd be aware of that decision by now… Well, if you change your opinion let me know, Erwin. I'm sure I can save them a spot in my squad if that's what they want." He left with a smug smile on his face. Rogers was overly irritating but he was not stupid, and Lily was not good at hiding her emotions. He knew her anger might favor him in this case.

"All right then, Mike I'm sure you'll have a lot to discuss with your new squad members. If you seek Commander Shadis he should let you know who'll be conforming the rest of your squad." Mike nodded and made a silent sing to Nanaba and Marcus who followed him as he looked for Commander Shadis. "The rest of you, take fifteen minutes. We'll meet in the dining room to discuss the upcoming expedition. That'll be all for now." They all saluted him and left, leaving him and Lily behind.

"I'm guessing asking me to attend the meeting is a mere courtesy, considering you already decided to leave me out of it." Lily said, going straight to the point. She was not trying to hide her anger anymore.

"Lily, please can't you wait fifteen minutes? Everything will be explained in the meeting." Erwin asked, trying to calm her down.

"Don't you think it's too late for that now? You can tell me now and spare me from another one of your meetings." Erwin frowned and narrowed his eyes at her. Lily's fists were clenched at her sides as she did her best to maintain his gaze.

"I don't consider you to be in a good enough condition to head out so soon, that is all." He answered before quickly scanning their surroundings to make sure they weren't attracting any unwanted attention.

"What exactly do you mean by that? My injuries were superficial, they healed and even if they hadn't, there's still a month for the expedition. I am fine, Erwin, you saw me training yesterday." She tried reasoning with him.

"I didn't mean physically. You are clearly healthy and uninjured. It's your mental health the worries me."

"What?" Lily hushed with a shocked look on her face. She felt herself grow pale as she processed her superior's words.

"Yes, I've seen you train; yesterday and this whole week… You are not the same Lily that went outside the walls this last time. This is a simple expedition, the risks are way less than the last time. But in your current state you could get hurt easily or worst… That's why I personally asked Mike to refrain from asking you to join his squad, I don't think you're ready." As Erwin said this, Lily shook her head almost frantically.

"So, what are you going to do? Keep me cooped up in here?" She was trying hard not to lose her composure and snap at him. "Don't you think I should get a say in this? Or that you should at least have discussed it with me first?"

"I was planning to do so today, but Rogers forced me to make the decision before I got the chance to talk to you about it. Besides, this expedition is no more than a simple replenishing mission. Why do you have so much interest in going?" He didn't realize they had gotten closer to each other as they argued.

"That's not it, Erwin! I would have been totally fine with staying. I would have been okay with it as long as you had come up to me and discuss it, face to face, instead of going to Mike, behind my back, and tell him not to choose me for his squad." The effort she was making to keep herself from screaming felt almost inhuman. She had never been this angry with Erwin before. She crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath before talking once again. "I want to go… And I want to accept Rogers' proposal."

"You just said you don't care about going or not! Which is it, Lily? I can't keep up arguing with you all day." He was also losing his patience, ever since that disagreement in his office Lily had not been acting like herself. He had done his best to understand and give her time, but this was too much, this was downright insubordination.

"Well, I didn't. But now it seems like my Squad Leader does not trust me and I have to prove myself to him and, as you said, we have no time to keep arguing and if I go as part of your squad we surely will… So I want to go as part of Rogers' squad." A part of her couldn't believe the words that came out of her own mouth… After six years of working together, and her crush on the guy, she neve thought she'd be willingly walking away from him.

"Fine… I'll allow you to be a part of Rogers' squad. I'll just have you know, that if he succeeds and gets that promotion, you'll probably be transferred to his squad permanently…" Erwin explained, his eyes as cold as ice.

"Good… Then you wouldn't have to endure my presence in your squad, you'll still have access to my father's journals; which I think is the only thing that makes you keep me her nowadays, and we'll be out of each other's hair. Everyone wins." She sighed as she finished, she had lost control. Shaking her head, trying to get her ideas in order she began walking away. "I better go find Rogers before he harasses other people about being part of his team…"

"Cadet Dekker." He stopped her on his tracks. "Just wanted to make clear that if Rogers does not succeed, you'll still be part of my squad. I think you know that I don't take insubordination lightly and I'll make sure you receive a fitting punishment once we're back inside the walls." He saw her fists clenching at his threat. "And please, don't forget you are expected to offer a salute every time you leave or enter the presence of a superior." With this, she turned and gave him a quick salute along with a death glare before walking away once and for all.

* * *

Nifa couldn't help but frown… She had expected to see three, not four members of the squad missing at the meeting. She couldn't be happier for Mike, he deserve a chance to prove his skills as a leader and of course it was sad to be separated from Marcus and Nanaba too but she was certain they'd be in good hands… But when Erwin told them Lily had decided to accept Rogers offer and join his squad, she felt like someone had punched her in the gut… The rest of the meeting went in a blur as she half listened to Erwin's words.

"So, as you can see, we are already four members down. In this expedition, I'm mostly expected to monitor the three soldiers that are being tested. I have orders not to intervene unless is absolutely necessary and, if possible, with the commander's permission to do so. Due to this, I think just one of you will be able to accompany me outside the walls, the rest of you will stay inside and carry on with your duties as usual. Understood?" Explained Erwin, his hands over the table as he looked at what was left of this team nodded. "Good… Hange, you'll be the one to participate in this expedition, we'll discuss the details tomorrow. You are all dismissed." He finished as all his companions got up from their chairs, one of them emitting a characteristic "Yahoo" before leaving the room. He lifted his gaze once more to see the petite red-headed girl still sitting in front of him, a worried look on his face. "Is there a problem, Nifa?"

"Squad Leader, of course there's a problem…" Her tone denoted her irritation and Erwin's frown deepened; he had no energy left to deal with a discussion again. "You assured me you wouldn't put Lily in danger in her current state. Why would you let her go out on the expedition? Why would she accept being a part of Rogers' squad? She hates that guy!"

"Believe me, Nifa, I tried… In the end, it was her decision to go with Rogers and trying to stop her would just be a waste of time." He sighed. "Has she improved? In any way?"

"Not that I've noticed… She thinks we do not realize but she has troubles sleeping, she keeps stirring, having nightmares or simply does not sleep at all… She's nervous and jumpy when she's awake and during last training session she kept losing her concentration and kept looking elsewhere as we sparred." Nifa explained, her eyes still filled with worry. Erwin sighed as he took this information in, his mind working quickly to formulate a plan.

"Look, I know that you are worried. I know the whole squad is worried but it was her decision to participate in the expedition. True, Rogers is not the most amicable person but he is skillful and, considering his position, he will aim to have his squad come back in one piece…" He tried to calm her down but. "Nifa, I need to ask you a favor… Could you please look for Levi and ask him to come to my office as soon as possible?" He got up from his sit, ready to walk away. "I know how you are feeling right now, believe me. It's now too late to change Lily's opinion but I promise I'll make everything I can to make sure she comes back in one piece… Okay?" He asked putting his right hand on Nifa's shoulder, the read-headed girl only gave him a reluctant nod. "Good… Tell Levi I'll be waiting for him."

* * *

Erwin sat on his desk feeling a lot of weight on his shoulders. He needed to calm down before his frustration got the better of him but this whole ordeal was proving to be too much. He'd rather deal with developing a new formation all over again, that was much easier than dealing with this splintering that was going on in his squad. A soft knock on the door made him abandon his thoughts.

"You wanted to see me?" Asked Levi as he entered the room after Erwin's affirmative response.

"Yes, please take a sit." He gestured to the chair in front of the desk. Levi did as he was ordered and simply stared at him, waiting for Erwin to explain the situation to him. Erwin knew better than to try and start small talk, so he went straight to the point. "I want you to accept Rogers' offer and join his squad."

"I thought you said I couldn't go without supervision." He said, his expression not changing.

"I'll arrange everything with the Commander. I trust you'll know how to behave…" Erwin's tone gave away the warning in the statement.

"Tch, does this have something to do with Dekker going to the expedition?"

"As a matter of fact, yes it does… I don't just want you to go, I want you to make sure she comes back safely."

"If that's what you want, I'll go. But I don't think I'm the right person to do that. In case you are stupid and haven't noticed yet, Dekker and I don't really get along."

"I know…" He answered ignoring Levi's insult. "That's why I'm sending you and not somebody else. Make her trust you, I can have two of my soldiers refusing to work together." Looking up, he saw a mild irritation in Levi's eyes and half expected him to deny his orders.

"Fine. If she comes back crying, don't blame me." He turned and left. Erwin decided not to temp his luck by reminding him he had yet to be dismissed. Instead he sighed resting his head in his hands as he silently wished for the next expedition to arrive sooner.


End file.
